im thinkin of submitting 4 university application by today. ive gotta submit 2 by today anyway, the other two are georgia tech and umass - amherst, whose applications are rather straightforward. i was thinkin, since thats the case, even tho the deadline's on 15th jan, i might as well settle it, then i'll hav more time to tie up USC, ann arbor, ut austin and madison.

yea, i know its new yrs eve, but u know wat? i dont giv a hoot. its juz another usual day, i dont see any significance in new yrs, its just the way we count our calendar n all, as someone i cant recall said, its devised by men, so why embrace somethin we created?

but for those who care, happy new yr.

yep, so carnegie mellon's done, georgia tech's done, urbana-champaign and umass juz needs them essays. i dont think i mentioned here previously, but i pulled out of cornell n upenn, primarily coz of admission chances. firstly, im like out of their range of incomin freshmen. secondly, since ill apply for financial aid, wat r the chances tt they will giv assistance to a student tt's like below the average incomin freshmen's score? besides those two are ivy league; sometimes havin gd scores doesnt mean anythin to them. so yea, if everythin goes rite, then ill only hav 4 more schs to tie up. amazing. but not so, coz it doesnt make any diff, since i'll b leavin in feb.

damn...

sorry ive not been updatin other than the less than sorry scores of Newcastle. god, if u saw the match on sunday, you would wonder how in the hell they managed to stay in top 10. few wks ago, they were in comfortable situation to maintain at least a top 5 finish, more like could secure 4th n get tt last champs lg booth. lately, they've been playin like relegation-threatened teams. i felt so pissed at their performance on sunday n i bet those fans in St. James' Park felt the same. they booed O'Brien, when he was practically caught napping. had it not been for the heroics of Given, we would easily been thrashed 5-0.

i hate it when they put in couple of solid performances n fuck things up on those games that is an easy 3 pointers. if u're not gonna get the points from strugging opponents, how r u gonna command any challenge? but its quite clear there's 3 divisions within the premier league. the elites; i dont need to explain, manures, gooners and chelski. then comes the battle for the last champs league spot that is of equal competition to 6 teams; charlton, southampton, liverpool, birmingham, newcastle and fulham. its virtually impossible that there be any intrusion to the top 3. the difference between 3rd and 4th place stands at 12 pts comin into january. the other 9 (lets face it, wolves are gone and sad to say, most probably leeds. but they might just make it, like bradford did few seasons back) teams r jus playin and the lower ones r tryin to prevent itself from gettin involved in that last relegation spot. all this, within one league. the cut has never been this clear at halfseason, so much so, im amazed. n the top 3 will remain like tt for the couple of yrs. experience, money and reputation are things that cannot be built up quickly. (liverpool might be able to break into the club, but they need to replace houllier if theres any chance of it happening)

ok enuff of soccer.

aside from soccer, been doin some politics reading n watchin. yes, im talkin bt the us elections next yr. yes im bothered. things hav changed so much since the last election, and bush is partly to blame for all the prejudices we (ok, i) will face in the future. n im concerned coz pretty soon, i'll b livin there n most prob continue on to make a livin. i better b concerned. anyway, i want bush to go out, but considerin he pretty much fucked things up (one politician supposedly admitted he voted for bush knowin bush would fuck up, but he didnt expect bush to fuck up so badly... hahaha) and its better lettin the fucker continue handling the mess than get someone new to handle in a whole new way, which might backfire. but then again, there isnt any covincin candidate from the democratic party. the only two im havin in mind is clark or dean. but more to clark. i mean he's got it all, ex-NATO says it all. but yea, world politics is different issue. but i think he's got wat it takes to handle the white house. dean might hav gotten a massive boost by gettin endorsement from gore, but thats mainly coz gore backed out on the basis tt if he ran for next yr, ppl will think bout wat happened in the last election than focus on the current problems n issues. yea, gd decision, but does tt mean he'll try in 2008? supposin he does, its gonna b more interestin to watch the democratic debates than the actual presidential debates. coz its most likely gore vs hillary clinton head-on. that sounds very interesting. anyway, it pretty is clear bush will b re-elected, there isnt that strong candidate to take him on this time round, but who knows, things might change durin the course of next yr.

ive been watchin the BBC Timeline London and hardtalk lately. i juz love it when these guys argue among themselves to prove nothing. theres two sides to these discussion programs. they argue, present their points and talk a lot, but for wat? they can say all they want, sound real smart, etc, but nothin's changin. so wats the pt takin so much effort in convincin these ppl? on the otherhand, wat they say is true, sometimes some has real gd ideas n all. pity its not implemented. few days ago, this arab guy proposed a solution to the internal problems with the EU. he said that the members of EU should collectively form an alliance and let EU be the governing body to make up a new superpower that can counter the US. i was like starin at the TV n thinkin, wow, that's one terrific plan. like the US, which is made up of different states where each state has its own laws n governing body, so can the EU, most hav adopted the euro already, all thats needed is to dissolve the national governments to form one heading government. call it the united states of europe, or federation of european union, i think thats the best way to counter the growing powers of the only superpower left. then the EU n USA can discuss on equal terms n not be dominant over one, etc. i think if that happens, the other regions should follow. he hav way too many countries, we should form one gigantic union n deal wit world issues, things would b so much simpler n practical that way. i mean, i really think the arab countries should form one organisation or somethin. wat the hell r libya n iran gonna do by itself? its already handling itself so poorly, i think its better if the gulf nations all put their hands together n solve their own problems. that would really herald the new world. its only goin into 2004 now, would this be the defining moment for the 21st century? this would b really interesting.

Final Score from St. James' Park;
Newcastle United 0

Blackburn Rovers 1
Paul Gallagher (72nd)

#@%$!!!!!

God dammit, that was a bloody handball! Ref was right infront to see it all happen and let it pass as 'benefit of doubt.'

WHAT benefit of doubt? wat doubt was there?

there goes another dent in the quest for champs league hopes for next year....

now that im really goin to leave around february, suddenly this song is becomin my reality. i wouldnt hav expected it to be so.

Two Days In February by Goo Goo Dolls

I hung your picture on the wall and that's all it is
I break my fingers to make a call and that's all it is
I know you're living way out west and I don't think that I confessed
Everything I feel

You say you got no faith in things that you can't see
Well I'm sorry I ain't there with you but you ain't here with me
And I'm down in all my fears
But I ain't crying no tears over you

Cause everything's wrong
Well it's all right
Everything's wrong
Well it's all right

You said that this is crazy you're a half a world away
Well I'm sitting and I'm thinking but I didn't know what to say
So I said something I can't touch, I always want way too much
Anyway

Cause everything's wrong
Well it's all right
Everything's wrong
Well it's all right

I hung your picture on the wall but that's all it is
I break my fingers to make a call and that's all it is
I know you're living way out west
Don't get me wrong I'm not impressed
With you no more

hey guys, bad news or good news, depending on how u see it

but i think i'll be parting wit u guys much earlier. looks like i wont even stay till A Level results r out. i might be leaving around like mid feb now. if not, late feb.

it seems we might face some immigration issues wit the permanent resident thingy tt we hav.

technically, we're not supposed to stay outside of the US when we hav tt thing. so wat we used to do it go to the states every 2 yrs n apply for extension to stay outside. my cousin n their family, who were wit us last wk, met wit some unexpected prob when they went to illinois. coz their state of residency was in massachusetts, they were questioned y they were in illinois, not only tt, they were also questioned y they were based outside of US n all.

the last time they went to the states was a yr ago. tt means within one yr, probs can occur. n we've both signed on for 3 extensions already. we last went to US on june. now my dad thinks we shouldnt wait till a yr to go back, we should do earlier, so tt it wont be too obvious. so tt technically crosses out me leavin around may, which i was expected to leave then. if i go around feb, it would be like 9 months since my last visit. seems safer tt way.

i dont wanna leave so early, but i cant risk it. i mean im talking bout probable termination of my permanent residence status here. if tt's gone, my whole application process is gone, coz i'll be considered an international student then. tt mean good bye to me enrolling by 2004. im already goin paranoid whether i'll b admitted to any sch at all, coz it seems rather evident, i kinda chose those schs tt r rather competitive n all, even if i applied for like 17 (quite a number of them r like, im hopin on luck to get in)

well, theres the fall back plan. my dad's friends from his uni days in the Ph.D. course r imp ppl now. he said he has this friend of his, he can help me admit to Kyoto University anytime. all i need to do is call him. isnt tt cool or wat. of cuz its not as simple as it sounds, but yea, i got a backdoor entry. think abt it. Kyoto uni. no.2 in japan, no.30 in the whole world. but of cuz, i would hav to study in japanese.

but yea, u see the prob now. the next few days will tell wats gonna happen. still in the midst of findin out the probs n stuff.

... sigh...

Final Score from The Walkers Stadium;
Leicester City 1
Paul Dickov (67th)

Newcastle United 1
Darren Ambrose (90th)

Whoooo.... Last min equaliser! Young Ambrose is our saviour for today... I really thought we were done for.

YES!!

Finally got hold of the much sought-after 'Ken's Bar' by the Japanese R&B heart-throb Ken Hirai. Its mostly a acoustic remastering of the Jazz oldies or classics together with his better songs. It so good, it should belong to one of the best CDs produced by a Japanese artist. Even though you can tell that he's not so good in english (you can tell, he doesnt really sing the way native speakers of english do) but I guess its a very good effort put in by someone who isn't an english singer.

go look up for a pic of Ken Hirai. First thing you'd be thinking is 'is he mixed?' coz he really looks mixed, not Japanese at all. But I read somewhere that he's three generations pure Japanese.

Oh, I'm just having a great time listening to his CD. This is a materpiece. You all better try.

Now if only I could get my hands on the remix-ed collection... should have got it when I saw it in KL. Though it was way too pricey, it was a limited edition for a reason... damn it...

And so the quest ends after 3 years....

Man, if anyone denies that Return of The King was the best movie ever, they better be fucking kiddin me.

The mega battle scenes, sound effects, costumes, special effects, graphics, i can go on n on, they better win all these for Oscars. I realised later that the whole movie came close to 200 minutes but even when the main story had ended, I actually felt like wantin to watch more. the endin was a little subtle, I just hoped that they would make it a little better, than just showin Frodo leaving n showin Sam's thoughts livin in the Shire. If I were the director, I would recapture the moments from the whole trilogy and hav Galadriel sayin stuff like 'So marked the end of the third age of Middle-Earth, and the whole Middle-Earth reigned in peace' blah blah blah. But of coz, I wouldnt doubt Peter Jackson's decisions and ideas, I'm quite sure that was the fitting endin to an enormous trilogy the world has ever seen.

You know, I've been amazed by the general tactics of the riders of Rohan. When they attack, its the masses of Horses just homing inbound and just crushin everythin that comes in its way. They did that when the reinforcements came in the Battle of Helm's Deep in Two Towers and they did it again at Gondor. Its just so cool when the camera backs off a little to show two armies clashin against eachother and you see the horses just walking over the enemy.

The way that the dead soldiers of Gondor swept through the enemy was quite cool. haha, i was laughin at the part when one of the Uruk-Hai or an Orc was sayin 'Always late' or somethin n when Aragorn jumped out of the ship, the expression the Uruk-Hai portrayed... I was like, yea, yea!

I would give 7 stars out of 5 for the movie, but somewhere in my mind, I had expected for a much better one. I guess I had too much expectation for the finale. But it was already good enough, I have nothin to complain. Maybe I didnt feel the maximum effect coz we were sittin at like second row from the front. Yea, its only the fourth day, so cant say much, we went there around 1830 to find out 1830 and 1930 shows were sold out. then we queued up for the 2030 one, even that only has first few rows in the front available. but heck, we just took it. it was a lil better than when I watched Fellowship, where Paulina n I were sittin three rows from the front too. but that we really had to look up. Last night was better coz of inclinin seats, wasnt so bad for the neck.

The council guys ah... haha, lot of nonsense. Especially Kuan Sian, and why am I not surprised. He told us stuff bout the gay nite in the bar that he works at, the funny stuff that happened, n durin the movie, we would b crackin all sorts of shit. haha, i think the best of the night was when Legolas came in when Frodo finally woke up n he was goin like 'whoa, he's damn good lookin, what conditioner he use arh?' Eugene told us after the movie (those two went to the toilet n found two very nice seats furthur up in the theatre.. dammit..) we just burst out laughin like never before. I guess Liang Fu's head was quite interestin, the guys were makin fun of it like growin a plant in lower sec science. but it really looked like tt. Man, Liang Fu's combined injuries for Soccer and Rugby's real bad. my bodily pains must be peanuts compared to what he's feeling. gash on the face, horrible bruise by the clash wit Joshua, and that stitches on his head. and i thought my backache was bad.

managed to catch the last bus ride of 174 to make it safely home. man, yesterday was a real good day.

before i went in to the theatre, i saw this guy sellin the merchandise version of the one ring for 20++, i think i'll pop down and get that. it looks real nice. only prob, unlike the movie, its silver ring instead of gold. but its like so hard to get the actual replica, u can only get it on eBay now n thats already quite ex. settle for the best for now, its got the engravin n a holder that can glow like magma. worth it? i dont care, im gettin it. its the three best movies ive ever seen, and probably no movie will come close to matchin this spectacle. much like what my dad's generation went through wit the Star Wars trilogy.

What are the series we have seen in the recent years... Matrix, Harry Potter, Marvel comic-turned-into-movies, but only Matrix and LOTR actually continued one story from another. But i still think that they should hav left the Matrix alone and not make Reloaded and Revolutions. I think they did it purely for profit. Reloaded and revolutions complicated the story altogether. the first one gave a clear cut passage into such a brand new idea n concept n totally blew us off. that was enough. even to this day, the only point i like about the sequels are the high way scene and Zion's final battle. other than that, im not really impressed. on the other hand, im impressed by every single scene in the first one. i can recall scene by scene. god knows how many times ive watched that movie. esp the Neo Morpheus matchup and the lobby scene.

but that doesnt compare to the LOTR combined. thats just it. piece of history we all witnessed first hand. i dont really think anythin can come close to it unless some drastic entertainment technological advancement takes place in the near future that enables us to be surrounded by the movie, givin us 360 degrees view of the battle scene, that of course, someone decided to enhance the already impressive LOTR battle scene. but even if that were to take place, i think we would all b like 70 or 80 n probably might die from heart attack coz the battle scene is too breathtaking.

yes but for now n for next 20 or 30 years (I hope), Lord of The Rings hail this modern-earth (be it left-earth or right-earth, whatever Lionel...)

not that its so important or what, but i realised few days ago that i have only about 7 more months til my teenage years end. yes, for those who didnt know, im a yr overaged. so that means im hittin 20 next yr. im not really so much bothered to be 20 or what, but teenage yrs r really the moment of fun n experience for everyone. everythin' gonna change from now on. sigh. next thin i know, im worryin bout entering the 30s. then the 40s, n so on.

my whole body aches now. well, i mean how could i not, after playin a full 90 mins of soccer in a standard sized field tt was nothin but water n mud. n yea, i played while i was unfit. juz recovered from flu, not been excersizin, not at match-fit, condition, blah blah blah. im not even a pro, so im not gonna come up wit execuses. anyway, the thing abt yesterday was tt every step u took splashed mud on ur body. but tt didnt matter. wat mattered is when u try to kick or clear the ball in the defensive area, the ball travelled for less than a metre n juz stuck there. im the first one to admit tt i conceded at least 4 goals coz of that. never really got used to realisin how i could get the ball out of the area. its so irritatin when by usual condition tt kick would hav got the ball way out to the safety zone, u juz feed the ball indirectly (actually directly, but its the same in this case) to the opposin striker for a clear goal. ah well, its all in the name of fun. we had a nice time ultimately, even though we were thrashed like 11-3? heh, bunch of school kids against hoades of guys who are currently in NS, which means very very very fit. Ernest was like runnin from his defence all the way to attack several times n he didnt seem a bit tired. i was like.... wtf. i went up couple of times durin the 2nd half, clearin the ball to the side n dartin along (which wasnt as muddy, so easier to dribble) n feed a long pass to Ervin, which worked fantastically, but alas, as fate would hav it, our attack was all over the place but in the penalty zone.

i think everyone would agree that we would hav preferred to play on a normal field, which allowed the ball to at least bounce n roll. i juz cant stop grinnin when i think abt the match, coz it was really hilarious the way we would think we passed or kicked the ball n it would stop like a quarter way of its intended path.

i need to start running n get my fitness back. its amazin how i actually lasted the whole match yesterday. maybe i pushed myself too much, that explains for the bodily ache. i felt like i had arthritis after the match coz my back was in immense pain. i couldnt really sleep last nite. i actually was awake to see Lem's message at 3 in the mornin coz she forgot who the winner of the Amazin Race was n she kept thinkin bt it tt she couldnt sleep.

i think this is the first time i played the whole match for the Council. Durin my sec 3 days, i used to play full match quite often, but since then, ive been gettin injured often durin the match. ive been collidin, sufferin harsh tackles on my shin n my tigh tt cause me to limp rather than run. but i kinda ignored the pain n played yesterday. i guess the mud helped in a sense tt it didnt make the playin surface too hard for normal play. had we played on normal field, i dont think i would hav played the whole match.

im real thirsty after shoutin n all durin the match n the fact tt i juz recovered from the flu. i juz hope i wont hav to suffer dry throat again. i hate tt feelin. n somehow, pieces of skin in my mouth are torn n raw.

finally gonna watch Return of The King wit wats remainin of the Council. cant wait. my brother has gone to watch wit his friends earlier on already. Ive watched each episode wit different friends who's been very special to me for the past 2 to 3 yrs. I watched Fellowship wit Paulina. Hazril could have joined us, but he had somethin on that day or somethin. Besides he had already watched it wit his sis. Two Towers was wit Marc n Koustav. N the last one will be wit my Council mates. Gonna b quite memorable, aside from the amazement of LOTR.

Final Score from The Valley;
Charlton Athletic 0

Newcastle United 0

Blah, a bore draw. but it puts us on level terms at 4th place. at least for today.

k so two confirmed dates to keep in mind for admission results.

29th Feb for Penn State U - Univ. Park
31st March for Univ. of California - Berkeley, Los Angeles and San Diego.

damn i really need to meet Mr. Mannan for the transcripts.

now, lemme go back to the four schs im workin on now...

i always thought this particular song was interesting. not quite the kind of lyrics or music u expect from a group like Goo Goo Dolls. but juz read the lyrics and i'll leave u to think about it. i think i posted this lyrics b4, but wat the heck, i kinda like it, ill post it once again.

Acoustic #3

"They painted up your secrets
With the lies they told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew

And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming
No one's listening anyway

Your voice is small and fading
And you hide in here unknown
And your mother loves your father
Cause she's got nowhere to go

And she wonders where these dreams go
Cause the world got in her way
What's the point in ever trying
Nothing's changing anyway

They press their lips against you
And you love the lies they say
And I tried so hard to reach you
But you're falling anyway

And you know I see right through you
Cause the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming
You're not listening anyway"

a very weird dream...

u noe one of those dreams u hav n u wake up n go 'huh'? yea had tt one last nite.

usually, its like, damn, it was only a dream, or hmm, interestin. but this one, was like, real confusin.

i cant remember too much of the details, but i remember those imp bits n all.

its either i was out wit the council or clique. coz i remember iskie n chia how there. we were out, mayb watchin return of the king or somethin. (ive yet to catch tt IRL) we're juz hangin around, then the three of us decide to go to the toilet or somethin. so we head somewhere, then suddenly we take our steps faster, goin goin goin, till i cant even recognise where we r headed. then i see students in blazer around, i thought they were NJC students or somethin, then i start seein sec sch ppl also n all. im already like, hmmm.. then i get a call from a friend (i cant remember anymore) then i pick up, i say hello, but theres no reply. i say hello again, then theres a faint voice comin back, i try to increase the volume, but doesnt really help. then i keep sayin, erm, is someone there? then i take a look at the phone screen, it says Hazril (Home). i realise its a girl's voice, so i tot its either Hazril's gf or his mom. but i still cant deduce who it is. then suddenly it becomes clear. someone's like,
'sorry, but im gonna b a lil late. can u wait?'
then im like, huh? im supposed to meet someone? then im like askin, '
erm, wait, im confused.'
i take the phone off my ear n look at the screen; "Iliza."

ILIZA? who the hell's tt? i dun noe a iliza, let alone eliza. then, in the dream, i suddenly realise im supposed to hav dinner wit this girl at hv around 8. i wasnt sure where i was, but i know, its quite far from hv. then i tell her
'damn, im so sorry, i totally forgot bt it. im quite far away from hv now. if i go home n head to hv, it'll take around an hour.'
she keeps quiet. i ask her 'hey, i know, im real sorry, i dunno how i could forgot, but ill try my very best to make it there as fast as possible ok?'
still no reply. 'hey, u there? reply?' then she finally goes, 'yea....' n theres tt silence through the line.

all i could tell, iliza is quite an attractive person, in my dream, it was like those tv split screen, half is her, half is me, but i cant remember how she looks like anymore. but i know she was quite attractive, mayb i could add tt she might hav been hot. but tts not the point.

so im like in a hassle, i dunno wat to say or do. i remember tt im supposed to b home, tryin to help my relatives catch their flight. but on the other hand, i promised this person i dunt know tt im supposed to meet her for a dinner.

ok, first of all, i dont know any iliza. who's named like iliza nowadays? isnt it supposed to b eliza? or elysa? i dunno. second, if she was a stranger, the number would appear on my hp instead of her name, which means i actually know this person. i mean yea, since i recognised her n knew bt the promise or a dinner, i better.

yea... but its merely a dream. but a very weird dream at tt.

guess ive not been updatin lately.. couple of reasons y...

1. im writing up essays for Cornell, UPenn, Carnegie Mellon and Illinois-UB.

yea, its taking quite a bit of time now. but more or less its almost done, juz waitin for my cousin to edit or my dad will do it if she cant. im not sure if everythin will b ready by 31st jan, but hope everythin works out well. next few weeks gonna b quite crucial coz i'll hav 4 more schs to settle within 2 wks. (USC, UMass, GIT, etc) dammn....

2. im done wit a flu.

not the influenze tts been spreadin out, dont worry, i got my shot for tt. seems my bro picked it up from his tutor, then got passed to me or somethin. i can detect my flu simply, coz i get this dry patch on my throat, then tt happens, i know im gonna b feverish soon. so i got my usual med from the doc, so its a lil better now.

3. my relatives r over.

yep yep, its been quite nice havin em over, since im basically rottin at home doin them essays n stuff, so been talkin to cousin n its been real fun.


4. ive started playin SNES again!

oh man, i got tt old machine out of the box like, wat, after 6 yrs? haha, that machien's so outdated sinc ethe says of sega saturn n playstation. but theres this game tt i didnt really get to complete then, which is dragon quest v, (it was the kinda of definin moment in 92, 93, like wat ff7 durin the 96 n 97) its v hooky, n ive been playin it ever since.

yea... its been real fun these few days n yea, been neglectin my blog for these few reasons.

hope u guys r havin fun...

Final Score from St. James' Park;
Newcastle United 4
Laurent Robert (35th & 55th)
Alan Shearer (59th & 66th)

Tottenham Hotspurs 0

Woohooo!! YEAH! Shearer scores his 100th goal at St. James' Park, Newcastle climbs to 5th spot, one pt behind 4th placed Fulham (hope they dont win tonight) and everythin's goin so well! Boy, everyone have to see the two rockets that Robert fired, both from well outside the penalty box and a good volley too. And to think that he just came back from injury to fire those two massive shots is indeed impressive. Shearer remains the top scorer in the league with 15 goals, which means he has scored 60% of Newcastle's goals in the Premier League.

Just wonderful. Heh, if Ms. Chong is seeing this, she must be mad at me, yet again.

HOWAY THE LADS!

Ahh... I suddenly feel like 'Here Is Gone'... that warm, free and serene feeling... just love it.

'Here Is Gone' by Goo Goo Dolls
You and I got something
But it's all and then it's nothing to me
And I got my defenses
When it comes to your intentions for me
And we wake up in the breakdown
Of the things we never thought we could be

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

Chorus:
And I want to get free talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

I have no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

Chorus

And I don't need the fallout of all the past
That's here between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here

Chorus

And I want to get free talk to me
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone

Yea, especially that part right above... just keeps ringin in my head...

hmmm, the most interestin essay question ive come across so far. most universities are like, 'what do you think you will bring into the campus life?' or 'why did you choose to study the course of your choice?' and 'tell us about your background that distinguishes you from the rest' and stuff. standard, boring, etc. but now now, University of Pennsylvania has this particular question that shone out of the accompanying two (see, i'm supposed to choose one topic out of the three)
"You have just completed a 300 page autobiography. Submit page 217."
Ahhh... yea, you're looking at an essay topic that is required of an Ivy League University. Hmm, I guess that says a lot about the expectations of an Ivy already, non? Okay, somehow, I have to, I must finish the three essays by this weekend. Before my aunt's family come over. Then i can chill for little more. I've been too relaxed n lenient wit myself lately. Then, hit the essays again wit four more. Then im more or less done for the January deadlines.

Alicia Key's new single "You Don't Know My Name" is so damn nice!

Urghhh!!!

I've already spent (ok, not me, but my dad) US$215 for application fees and I'm like only done with 6 of em. 11 more to go!!! one of it (CM) is more or less complete, just editing, that is more or less tied up. jeez, all these for having the freedom of choice in April.

Read the paper this morning bt US Education? Most of my schools tt im applyin to are listed, that proves I made the right choices, but at the same time, im worried, coz other Singaporeans r tryin to get into the very unis tt i want to get into, which might make my prelim transcripts appear like shit. oh wait, im not international candidate. so i guess tt doesnt matter? but the transcripts still will. sigh.

been doin lotsa stuff lately.

oh, i finally have CM 03-04!!!! woohoo. gonna play my arse off. started new game already, wit all the english leagues, plus the top divisions of spain, italy, germany and france. i think i should hav added holland n scotland. hmmm, i'll see how this game goes first. I took charge of Hereford. the squad only has like 20 players (i mean the whole club) but i think i like to work wit it tt way. gotta sort out the finances first, before i took over, it was already 200 quid over the wage budget. i might hav to kick someone out in order to maintain the budget. damn it, this team doesnt even hav an assistant manager. but then, there r no playable players in the reserves n the under-19s, so i dont hav to worry too much. lets see whether i will emulate my magnificent form wit Farnborough which saw me jump in managerial ladders to 1st div wit man city in juz 2 yrs. nah, this is tougher, it wont happen so easily. but i wanna play like in all divisions step by step. most likely, once im up there in the top league, i wont come back to manage in lower league. lets go Bulls!! (hereford's nickname)

yea, then Marc left... ive been through all the way wit tt guy man. first friend i made in SA, since we were in the same OG, i became the OG rep, him, the assistant. he never changed, still the same as day 1. haha. yea, then we both stayed on, joined the council, kept bein friends coz we both hanged around wit the same ppl, till the end. i think i might still b wit him, since there is quite a big possibility tt he might go to US. if he goes to CA n if i do too, yea baby!! but he's been one heck of a guy. v comical, funny, creative, artistic, dumb, joker, aiii, the list can go on! til the last moment, he remained the person we all knew. haha, him rushin to the gates when his flight was on last call. its juz him, i wasnt too surprised. haha. all the best dude!

supposedly things were happenin then tt i found out later. not too pleasant. but i got myself to blame, i suppose i did certain things unknowningly. wait, no, knowingly, but i wasnt aware of the consequences. but things r settling out, i juz gotta admit it n apologise. things like this happen, i shouldnt get too hot headed n react, it'll only cause more damage. so im doin the best i can by backin off n juz stop the whole mess. i was rather pissed coz ive never really been the trouble maker n all, since certain incidents early this yr. but then inadvertedly things happened. ah well, juz gotta handle it properly.

hmmm, i was listenin to a lot of techno-score-orchestra kinda stuff wit the juno reactor music, well, as i would hav guessed, my choice of music is turnin around yet another corner again. now im lookin for real jazz rap songs. dunno wat im talkin bt? try these songs; Warren G "I Want It All", A Tribe Called Quest "We've Got (The Jazz)", The Roots "The Hypnotic" "The Next Movement" "You Got Me" and Will Smith "Just Cruisin". Yea, after those songs, you should get wat i mean. Real hiphop/rap but not wit those mainstream background music. juz soft rap tt u can listen at night n stuff. rare kind, but there r number of em. The Roots and A Tribe Called Quest r the best example, but im lookin for more.

Oh while walkin around the other day, after buyin CM 03-04, I bumped into this gorgeous person. North Indian, I'm very sure. That kind that doesnt exactly look North Indian, but more East European? We exchanged some glances, but bein the person (prick) that I am, I just walked off after that. Heh. Blown chance? Yea right, like I'll ever stand a shot. But its juz me, I've never been good at pickin girls up for short talk n all, n I dont think I'll ever be. Oh just lemme put it straight right here right now, contrary to the popular belief that others actually think im hot wit the ladies, well, im not. i mean, i never got to sweet talk, never got someone's number right off the street, never enchanted someone, u get the drift. some said im such a waste of good looks. heh, im sorry la. i juz was never like tt ok? i mean it says enough by the fact tt ive never been attached n all, so yea, point stated. i'll definately come across many wonderful ladies in the next few yrs, esp tt im goin to US uni later on, but dont bet on me pickin up some girls anytime soon. its not like i want to or anythin, juz quite sad tt i bump into some hot person n nothin happens, like wat i hear from friends, see in movies, read in bks, etc. ah well.

Chantille won! I was rather shocked Lisa got booted off first. I always thought it'll be a two-horse race between Lisa n Chantille. But yea, Chantille has charisma n the cute porceline look. v modelish. n for David, well, i guess tt justified y rachel hunter gave him a perfect score. im not bein racist but it would hav been quite interestin if Crystal had won to make both the hottest person Blacks. They talk about risin as a people often, well that would hav stated some point.

Watched Love Actually today. It was a v funny show! Makes u feel real soft n mellow. Keira Knightley looks so adorable yet again!!! I mean if I were the guy, I think I'll be filmin only her too. noticed she has this way of aligning her lips or jaws in this certain manner tt makes her face be able to express different gestures. i found tt v interestin. but overall, this movie is excellent. four and a half stars! they managed to piece together many different stories n somehow make a connection n gotta credit them for managin to do tt. n its was one of the very few movies tt actually made me feel v christmassy. u dont really get that in sg, but the scenes in the movie really made me feel it. snow, gifts, decors, etc. v nice.

ok, i think i said quite a lot of stuff now. gonna go sleep. my eyes r tired too.

Ahhh... Finally managed to catch Nelly Furtado's performance in Tonight's Show With Jay Leno last night. Jay Leno's hilarious, but when I heard him say Nelly was gonna come on, I was saying 'Yes!!!'

I totally love Nelly Furtado. Yea, there are so many critics of her, but isnt that like the same with any artists? Being a fan of hers, I do admit, her style of singing is rather off main-stream; she isnt a gd singer. but hey, thats if u view her from the mainstream. but she isnt mainstream, so dont judge her like that. her songs are one of a kind, Portuguese, Hiphop and folk influence. But have u read her lyrics? They are poetry. As a songwriter, i think she's one of the best, if not, the best, around. She mixes personal experiences and thoughts, blends them with her unique heritage and comes up with a masterpiece. Its almost magic. And thats what I love her primarily for. She has a new album, after giving birth to a girl, and the new single's lyrics are, not surprisingly, good.

Powerless (Say What You Want)

Paint my face in your magazines
Make it look whiter than it seems
Paint me over with your dreams
Shove away my ethnicity
Burn every notion that I may have a flame inside to fight
And say just what is on my mind
Without offending your might

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
So say what you want
Say what you want

I saw her face outside today
Weatherworn, looking all the rage
They took her passion and her gaze and made a poster
Now it's moccasins we sport
We take the culture and contort
Perhaps only to distort what we are hiding

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
But say what you want
Say what you want

Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in, get in
Hey you, the one that don't fit in, how ya, how ya gonna get in
Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in with your
Broken teeth, broken jaw, broken mojo
Yeah, this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

Final Score from St. James' Park;
Newcastle United 1
Alan Shearer (63rd, pen)

Liverpool 1
Danny Murphy (6th)

man... terrible terrible. NUFC were horrible in first half. second half, liverpool was lucky not to lose, but NUFC's attack was so weak! cant even shoot properly! arrghh... but second half was so intense. v entertaining second half.

but Newcastle's offence suck... o wait, i forgot the defence too.

k someone help me out.

im learnin the loop for C++ n im v confused. so someone help me understand this segment.

#include
int main ( ) {
int x, y, z;
for ( x = 1; x <=3; x++ ) {
for ( y = 1; y < 3; y++ ) {
if ( y == 2 )
break;
for (z = 1; z < 3; z++) {
cout << x << " " << y;
cout << " " << z << endl;
}
}
}
return 0;
}

k, in blogger, its not comin out like it should be. damn it. it wont display properly.

im practically blastin the fuck outta my head wit juno reactor.

yea, u know, the part-gregorian, part-orchestra like, part score, part very techno n electronica music we always hear in any of the matrix movies?

yea. i detest techno. but juno reactor blends score n electronica well. its almost as if when im listen to them, you're reaching this higher level of peacefulness.

try these couple of songs; Mona Lisa Overdrive (yea, the ever-famous background music in Reloaded's much talked about highway scene), Navras (the ending credit song in Revolutions), Neodammerung (the final battle music) and many more in the soundtrack.

wat do u call the ppl singin like the greek or roman catholic chants? gospel choir? they sound real gd. tts my favourite part of these songs.

uh, im juz damn tired. so much more work to do. when is this gonna end...

Yea... so Prom was over yesterday.

somehow, it didnt turn out as gd as i expected. was rather dull, all we did was to look gd, eat little n take tons of photo.

a lot of ppl were bemused at the selection of prom king n queens but i guess the winners are suitable choices. so thumbs up to our prom king, Jacob and prom queen Wendy! Very appropriate winners if u ask me, although dozen of people we know should at least have been nominated. but yea, thats the way it goes.

yea, u all know me, im not clubbin person, and y the fuck would i wanna waste money when im neither gonna drink nor dance rite? hoped to juz chill out at a pub or pool place, but everywhere we went, it didnt seem to work out (devils bar minimum age 23 for guys? WTH? pool place next to hard rock charges like 14/hr CRAZY, supposedly 24 hr theatre is not 24 hr but only on fri n sat, how stupid is tt?) yea, so we were like walkin around orchard at 1 to 2 in the morning, tryin to find some place where we can juz chill out, turns out we couldnt.

but i saw a lot of scene tt i never saw b4 (yea, i mean coz i CANT go out in the middle of the night coz of my dad) but two scenes i didnt expect to see. a malay couple arguin damn louldy near hard rock, seems over some third party, i swear i tot the guys were gonna come in blows, and the transexuals near thai embassy beatin the hell out of some guy who passed a comment to them n all. it was hilarious, but eye opening. didnt know singapore had these stuff goin on, i tot it was only obvious in NYC.

but yea, ultimately, went back to hotel room, juz as our initial plan was. everythin was alrite until the clubbin ppl came back, coz then we had to really worry bt not gettin kicked out of our room coz of excessive noise n all. zhengwei's roommates were asked to leave, n so did our dear councillors later in the morning. i was scared shit when only few seconds after we entered our room, the manager came to juz warn us. but we were lucky.

but seriously, if u go clubbin, control urself. its juz plain stupid to be wastin not only ur time but of those around u. y, y u wanna do all tt shit for. its so fuckin troublesome. i mean, juz think, dont get urself into too much shit, wat for?

yea, so after playin one gigantic monopoly session which was the biggest exchanges of powers ive ever seen. fatigue gave way n i ultimately lost to Koustav. ah well.

yea, so i only slept like for 2 hrs, so im real tired. n the room was so messy. sigh.

n i juz finished fillin up USC, Georgia Tech and finished up UIUC application.

argh. im so fuckin tired n stressed. i need to chill. goo goo dolls, massive attack n juno reactor where are you....

blah...

havent been updatin lately.

sorry, i've been either doing; C++ programming, filling up university applications (Purdue, PSU and UIUC are done! just essays to be added), goin to sentosa, puttin together a whack 1000 piece puzzle, goin over to friends place till late at night, etc

so much tt im too tired to log in n blog at 1 or 2 in the morning.

n i gotta go now again...

enjoyin the hols fellas? coz i am.