Urghhh!!!

I've already spent (ok, not me, but my dad) US$215 for application fees and I'm like only done with 6 of em. 11 more to go!!! one of it (CM) is more or less complete, just editing, that is more or less tied up. jeez, all these for having the freedom of choice in April.

Read the paper this morning bt US Education? Most of my schools tt im applyin to are listed, that proves I made the right choices, but at the same time, im worried, coz other Singaporeans r tryin to get into the very unis tt i want to get into, which might make my prelim transcripts appear like shit. oh wait, im not international candidate. so i guess tt doesnt matter? but the transcripts still will. sigh.

been doin lotsa stuff lately.

oh, i finally have CM 03-04!!!! woohoo. gonna play my arse off. started new game already, wit all the english leagues, plus the top divisions of spain, italy, germany and france. i think i should hav added holland n scotland. hmmm, i'll see how this game goes first. I took charge of Hereford. the squad only has like 20 players (i mean the whole club) but i think i like to work wit it tt way. gotta sort out the finances first, before i took over, it was already 200 quid over the wage budget. i might hav to kick someone out in order to maintain the budget. damn it, this team doesnt even hav an assistant manager. but then, there r no playable players in the reserves n the under-19s, so i dont hav to worry too much. lets see whether i will emulate my magnificent form wit Farnborough which saw me jump in managerial ladders to 1st div wit man city in juz 2 yrs. nah, this is tougher, it wont happen so easily. but i wanna play like in all divisions step by step. most likely, once im up there in the top league, i wont come back to manage in lower league. lets go Bulls!! (hereford's nickname)

yea, then Marc left... ive been through all the way wit tt guy man. first friend i made in SA, since we were in the same OG, i became the OG rep, him, the assistant. he never changed, still the same as day 1. haha. yea, then we both stayed on, joined the council, kept bein friends coz we both hanged around wit the same ppl, till the end. i think i might still b wit him, since there is quite a big possibility tt he might go to US. if he goes to CA n if i do too, yea baby!! but he's been one heck of a guy. v comical, funny, creative, artistic, dumb, joker, aiii, the list can go on! til the last moment, he remained the person we all knew. haha, him rushin to the gates when his flight was on last call. its juz him, i wasnt too surprised. haha. all the best dude!

supposedly things were happenin then tt i found out later. not too pleasant. but i got myself to blame, i suppose i did certain things unknowningly. wait, no, knowingly, but i wasnt aware of the consequences. but things r settling out, i juz gotta admit it n apologise. things like this happen, i shouldnt get too hot headed n react, it'll only cause more damage. so im doin the best i can by backin off n juz stop the whole mess. i was rather pissed coz ive never really been the trouble maker n all, since certain incidents early this yr. but then inadvertedly things happened. ah well, juz gotta handle it properly.

hmmm, i was listenin to a lot of techno-score-orchestra kinda stuff wit the juno reactor music, well, as i would hav guessed, my choice of music is turnin around yet another corner again. now im lookin for real jazz rap songs. dunno wat im talkin bt? try these songs; Warren G "I Want It All", A Tribe Called Quest "We've Got (The Jazz)", The Roots "The Hypnotic" "The Next Movement" "You Got Me" and Will Smith "Just Cruisin". Yea, after those songs, you should get wat i mean. Real hiphop/rap but not wit those mainstream background music. juz soft rap tt u can listen at night n stuff. rare kind, but there r number of em. The Roots and A Tribe Called Quest r the best example, but im lookin for more.

Oh while walkin around the other day, after buyin CM 03-04, I bumped into this gorgeous person. North Indian, I'm very sure. That kind that doesnt exactly look North Indian, but more East European? We exchanged some glances, but bein the person (prick) that I am, I just walked off after that. Heh. Blown chance? Yea right, like I'll ever stand a shot. But its juz me, I've never been good at pickin girls up for short talk n all, n I dont think I'll ever be. Oh just lemme put it straight right here right now, contrary to the popular belief that others actually think im hot wit the ladies, well, im not. i mean, i never got to sweet talk, never got someone's number right off the street, never enchanted someone, u get the drift. some said im such a waste of good looks. heh, im sorry la. i juz was never like tt ok? i mean it says enough by the fact tt ive never been attached n all, so yea, point stated. i'll definately come across many wonderful ladies in the next few yrs, esp tt im goin to US uni later on, but dont bet on me pickin up some girls anytime soon. its not like i want to or anythin, juz quite sad tt i bump into some hot person n nothin happens, like wat i hear from friends, see in movies, read in bks, etc. ah well.

Chantille won! I was rather shocked Lisa got booted off first. I always thought it'll be a two-horse race between Lisa n Chantille. But yea, Chantille has charisma n the cute porceline look. v modelish. n for David, well, i guess tt justified y rachel hunter gave him a perfect score. im not bein racist but it would hav been quite interestin if Crystal had won to make both the hottest person Blacks. They talk about risin as a people often, well that would hav stated some point.

Watched Love Actually today. It was a v funny show! Makes u feel real soft n mellow. Keira Knightley looks so adorable yet again!!! I mean if I were the guy, I think I'll be filmin only her too. noticed she has this way of aligning her lips or jaws in this certain manner tt makes her face be able to express different gestures. i found tt v interestin. but overall, this movie is excellent. four and a half stars! they managed to piece together many different stories n somehow make a connection n gotta credit them for managin to do tt. n its was one of the very few movies tt actually made me feel v christmassy. u dont really get that in sg, but the scenes in the movie really made me feel it. snow, gifts, decors, etc. v nice.

ok, i think i said quite a lot of stuff now. gonna go sleep. my eyes r tired too.