ok, after lengthy discussion, this is the outcome; i'll apply to carnegie mellon on early decision.

academic-wise, its a very gd choice. one of the top schools in the field of computer engineering and very noted program, plus the fact tt most of its graduates get jobs at IBM or Microsoft makes it very attractive.

financial-wise, well we can deal wit it. it means more work, applyin through FAFSA n FA but its not too hard. either way ill manage to get some sort of loan. either work loan or student loan, maybe even merit scholarship after some time. but its gonna be hard coz its a gd sch, so many other excellent students will b vying for the same thing.

so tts it then. but if u ask me, i stand a v low chance of gettin in now since my SAT score's below their 25 percentile range n i didnt consult my cousins or uncle for the essay, which means its messy n disorganised. but i cant do anything now, its due in about 24 hours. i gotta fill up the FA stuff now. sigh, how am i gonna study for chem p3 now like this?

hmm, ive been v enlightened the past two nights. amelie was a v nice movie on wed night n last night, i watched it could happen to you. v heart-warming movies. makes me think bt so many things tt i would want in the future. but it would seem like a awkward decision to many who know me, but i want it anyway. i would wanna earn a lot, live comfortably, but not extravagantly, juz a small cosy apartment or a semi-D, which isnt too big, n a old cadillac or plymouth would do. somewhere in the suburban area, if possible, even rural. maybe one of those obscure counties in france, italy, spain, portugal or even turkey. after livin right in the middle of a city for so long, ive grown to detest living so near all the tall buildings, traffic and everythin. i juz wanna liv far far away n be alone, let myself to sit down next to the fire, listenin to lounge music every nite. tts how i envision myself. i might probably remain single, who wants to share a lifestyle which is so stagnant n un-happening? all these thoughts were occupyin my head as i went to sleep last night. im really confused. A's r ending in 2 wks, i hav like 10 months to sort everythin out b4 i head to university, then everythin from there is one way ticket. i used to look forward to that, now i'm rather scared.