back in america

first and foremost; i'm never flying united airlines again. it was obvious from the start how the initial flight was transferred, and then the the way they handled the connecting flight. god knows how many people missed the connecting flight to boston, or the somewhere else.

but 'the da vinci code' provided such a great time, that i forgot about fatigue. its clearly a very smart and well thought novel, i wonder how much of the information the author wrote is true, because i agree with certain points he made. since im not a christian or catholic, i am not confused about the facts regarding magdalene, but it did provide a food for thought for a non-believer, like me. the end was a little disappointing, but the way the book led to diffrent sections, that was just amazing. clearly one book that has to be read by everyone.

i felt glad to reach chicago, but the immigration bit ticked me off. i dont understand why it took so long for them to ask simple questions and go through the luggage. it seemed everyone there was simply taking their time to do all these. im not complaining about why i had to go there, since its part of standard procedure and im like a clear example of who must be questioned (the officer was confused when i told him that i was born in japan, but holding a bangladeshi passport, and i flew from singapore) i had nothing to worry about, since im totally clean, they can find nothing about me since ive done nothing. so i just answered whatever they asked me and did whatever they told me to do. however, at times i found it hard to understand what the officer was saying, which kinda made me think about how i would adjust to life here once university starts. what if the lecturer talks that way? i can get used to friends talking, but lecturers, which will be changing every semester, or just people i come across?

language did help, during the JAL flight, or when i had to convince the people in Tokyo that i simply had to get seats for the flight. even though it had become super rusty, i think i can polish it up, if i am to minor in it. it sounded like an amateur, but at least if worked to get their attention.

it felt really funny to see all these people walking towards the immigration check point, so many indian students coming here to study. there were so many of them lining up in the other line (we lined up in the citizens/permanent resident section) that one officer asked who were incoming students, and gave them other instructions. i noticed one guy had the tag 'oklahoma state university' on his bag, just in case that got lost or something. and as we exitted the customs, i noticed there were people waiting for these students, one particular person held a placard that said 'illinois institute of technology: indian association' i almost started laughing at that, it just was too funny to read that kinda thing. one of them as eyeing me, as if to approach me but when they saw my GT logo on my shoulder bag, they continued to look at other potential students who were supposed to arrive.

on the the way to 'home,' i kept thinking, whats so great about this 'american dream' that everyone else in the world seems to chase after? my relatives were the ones that came here to study and to settle. im half-half, my dad's the one making the effort to get me and my brother to a 'better' life, because 'it all happens in america.' and so many people come over to start a new life, supposedly one that has been portrayed as a paradise. i know very few of those coming to america actually realizes that dream, but people do come in great numbers anyway. i kinda felt like i was better off in singapore, even if i had to do NS, it would mean just 2 years. i felt like i would have been much better. looking at the taxi driver, who clearly seemed an african national, kind of made me think more about it. he also came here, after struggling, to lead a better life. but as with everything, we have to work hard for it, for something that isnt guaranteed, but its worth a shot anyway.

maybe i feel like an incoming immigrant for the first time, after being questioned. had i been a complete stranger, i might have asked, why am i being treated so unfairly? this is not fair, this is not what i came for. but i know thats how it all works here, and im sure this isnt the end of such experiences. hopefully it will not get worse.

the american dream... heh... im not in search for that...

everything was alright, until the moment i tried to get to sleep. suddenly the house seemed so empty, foreign and strange. it was a completely awkward realization, that made me think 'this is not my home' i thought i was gonna have a breakdown of some sort, but it suddenly made me feel real sad, that this was in the middle of nowhere (it was very clear by the taxi ride) in a place so big, and a house so empty (it soon wont be once my mom unpacks everything from all the heavy luggages we brought) in a place i still think im not used to, even after 3.5 months here. it feels like a prison to me, since i was basically bound to this place. it wasnt like that for my brother, since he goes to school and sees a new life. so i am so glad that im leaving this place in about 6 days, off to another foreign place. i guess i will always feel this way wherever i go. as i took my breakfast alone, while everyone else was asleep, i just thought, what if i had actually lived in this place, alone? it's be so lonely. in a place im not familiar with and all. suddenly everything seemed so complicated.

and checking all the mails that came from georgia tech. so many mails of this sales, that sales, i thought it was the end of it, these businesses go through universities as well. i am so sickened by such commercialization. even as i watched the programs on television, it all felt wrong, truth about life being blinded.

i read the brochure about co-op in tech. work, study. that's all i knew about it. it seems there's also a hierarchy in co-op as well. not only do you get paid, starting with US$12 per hour, but that pay also increases as you work longer, and efficiently. and at the end of it, you also get a diploma in co-op education program. and its integrated into the university system. i have a hope, a vision, to graduate with an engineering degree (i'll get to know specifically which one, in the next 2 yrs) and also a minor (be it in japanese for engineering entrepreneurship) and to top it off, a diploma in cooperative education program. how cool is that. and along the way, i might be involved in soccer, hall council or some leadership program too. i cant wait. i just cant wait.

pizzas, expensive taxi rides, immigration, tons of junk mail, lot of phone calls, cool wind and just pleasant temperature, endless re-runs of friends and nightly jay-lenos...

yeah, i am back in america.