"And I want to get free talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone"

I feel so liberated i dunno wat to say right now. sure, farewell assembly was a great thing. sad tt our sch lives has ended, but ecstatic as to wat the future holds. but watever it was, friday was a great day. we had a memorable ceremony, cool video by the teachers, wise words from da man Mr. Mannan, n singin the sch song for one united time. its all gd. but it was funny how the SASA guys n the cricket guys were lookin around for ppl to drag em into the guy's toilet to drench em wif water while everyone was eatin stuff from the reception. last day n we were bein mischievous rascals yet again. tt's another thing i'll always remember. We drenched Shafiq, Wayne, Iskie n soon, i was one of em too. haha. managed to turn the hose around so i brough Tash down in the end. it was damn cold but so fun. it was rather ironic how i took photos in tt condition after tt wif the cool clique. o yah, after two yrs of talkin n promisin, we finally went to take photo wif the mysterious dinosaur nearby to our sch. it was made of sponge but felt quite like how we expect dinosaur to feel like. so it was cool like tt. i went to the mosque later, then went home, showered, got rid of the wet clothes which were quite dry by then, then went to take tt x ray tt my doc asked me to take, juz in case theres somethin wit my lungs. i still think its my throat, not my lungs but we'll see bt tt.

After tt, rushed to orchard to meet Denise, Koustav n Marc juz in time. We caught Seabiscuit instead of Underworld tt Marc badly wanted to watch n accordin to Glen n Jaime who were at the same place, it wasnt gd. Seabiscuit was quite gd. it was one of the first time tt i actually observed the crowd clappin in unison when seabiscuit won over war admiral, the so called best horse. i tot it was only us clappin but it was more or less the whole crowd! was amazin sight. went to Zara later n we pretended to look for prom stuff, but in the end we were really lookin for prom stuff. found a blue shirt i really liked n everyone else said it looked quite gd. i'll get my dad n show him once he comes back. it'll go quite well wif the suit i'm gettin it done. Koustav bought a trench coat like stuff in the end n i'm quite happy tt he got somethin he really wanted. he looks quite gd in it too. only unhappy incident was this group of guys givin sneers n ridiculous look when Koustav was tryin it out. i wanted to juz shout 'wat the fuck r y'all lookin at. let him b, its not like u guys r so gd lookin n stylish, r ye!!?" ppl can b so mean sometimes. but watever, there's always some ppl like tt.

it was rather hilarious when juz b4 the movie, i met Dewi (a friend of mine, not the Dewi from SA) after quite some time n we chatted for a while b4 she went off wif her usual 'call me sometime' line n Marc was juz lookin at me smilin. he was like, 'wat was tt? call me sometime? *grin, smile smile Marc-style* n i juz couldnt stop laughin n mockin his reaction through out the later part of the day. haha... yea, wats up wit tt? its juz call me sometime. Dewi says it all the time. but the way he phrase it seem like theres somethin bt it. like some cheap style bout it. i kept nudgin him durin dinner n all n i juz couldnt stop it. haha, sorry man! u're juz too funny! as maddie says, he's Marc blur-kok ikan bilis Irawan n he truly lives up to its name! hail Marc!!

yea, then Denise left coz she was havin dinner wif her family. o yah i touched her ass! haha, actually we took this rather scandalous shot while at the dinosaur where she grabbed my 'casually talked about butt' n i grabbed hers, we looked backwards at Koustav while he took the photo. he couldnt stop laughin n b amused bt it too. Yea, then we went to hav dinner at Es Teler 77, an indon fast food chain tt Paulina introduced me to. Addy joined us later on n we had a pretty nice dinner. all of us bought different drinks n were shiftin around n around, tryin out wat the other was drinkin n findin out which ones the gd one. i got myself a gd meal wit the tastiest n crispiest chicken skin ive ever tasted. my god tt was so gd. i felt so full n content after tt i wish i was in heaven. or at least felt like tt for a while.

while we were walkin around, it really felt gd. this is wat it means to b 'free.' i finally realised. its like i never had proper time off ever since i joined sec sch coz there was always somethin for me to do, somethin to worry, coz i was always involved in somethin. i guess i had a partial break after O's but didnt quite feel like last nite. last nite, i was actually lookin forward to end of A's, when i can walk down free n liberal, not havin to worry bt anythin. actually it was quite the opposite considerin i still hav my A's n i was sittin for SAT right the next day, but i wasnt too worried, surprisingly. i mean, u cant do much bt SAT coz i've pretty much done watever i could. so it was like, graduation, next day, take the test tt'll determine everythin. was quite cool thinkin like tt. now all i need to do is to do well on A's, SAT II, apply to colleges properly n i'll b able to enjoy the liberty for 7 mths! u gotta b so lookin forward to tt! i cant hardly wait!

this has been a long long time. ever since sec 3 or JC 1, even tho i had holiday, it was never a holidays coz u were always somewhat attached to word. be it council, exams, projects, now i had nothin. somehow i suddenly felt like A's wasnt a priority to me anymore. tt shouldnt b the case, but i was really feelin like tt. so when i was walkin alone on the way back to the busstop, i bet ppl walkin past me wouldve imagine to themselves thinkin, my, y is this guy smilin to himself or somethin like tt. but truthfully, sorry i keep on sayin it over n over, but it felt gd. to b free. i'll juz work hard for the next 2, 3 months, finishin everythin, n it'll all b cool. its all gd.

SAT I's done. Verbal sucked, i'm afraid i might do worse than last time of verbal 540, but i'm pretty confident i'll do well for maths. mayb 700. i dunno, everytime i think like tt, i end up gettin some screwed up score so better not raise my hopes too high. might end up gettin 600. *gasp!* nah, cant b... ah well, watever the case, for the better or worse, i'm movin on. decided finally to apply to Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburg over giants of Cornell n U Penn coz of better chance of gettin in as well as better prospects of landing a top job. told u all b4, but IBM recruits freshbies from MIT n Carnegie Mellon exclusively, so i was rather temped at their Computer Science department. Cornell n U Penn r too high end, if u ask me. Also, gotta apply to Berkeley n UCLA tho the chances r v v slim, but i'll juz giv it a shot. haha, who knows, i might juz get a big pack at the end of Dec tellin me i'm goin to CM! I'll feel so happy i think i would die! haha, hope, fingers crossed everyone. future seems sure brighter than anythin i've ever imagined.

so tt's one major paper gone. i'm gonna mug for maths n chem from now on n gd riddance to tt god darned SAT prep bk. gonna giv it to my bro to train him from now. he's a hardworker, so he might eclipse my performance.

i keep recallin the scene when i was tellin Marc; Hey, our lives r gonna b so cool once its all over man.
N then we would juz smile in anticipation of greater goods to come. This is to ecstatic. n i juz got a call from our NS man, Junwen. He tells me he's all gd n all. I'm happy tt he's not havin too much of a rough time in NS. See, this is wat i mean, complete serene happiness. only if i had someone to sit down n listen to some jazz or soft R&B n juz chill out. we will we will, once our war is over. o plz, let this heaven b extended for long as we can enjoy. life is so short, we forget wat its worth. but now i know. now i know...