what can i do?

aw hell.

ive got to resolve 3 things in the short future. and it would all prove costly. im afraid i cant disclose the exact details, since ive noticed that there has been an increase in the number of georgia tech visitors to this page, and as a result of not knowning who exactly these people are, i cannot take the risk of revealing a potentially big action.

whatever it is, its something i have to do with a dilemma that i have yet to solve. most people would say i still have time to think through it, but i just want to be sure, and want to make that decision as soon as i can, coz everything seems to be piling up. ive been thinking about these things for such a long time, im ready to tear my head apart.

oh crap, my iPod's scratched up so bad. well, not entirely. it must be because of one of the homecoming games i played yesterday which was named peter parker's assignment. we were given number of clues (about 20 or so) which directs us to various locations around campus and basically a person has to take a photo of that place, including 3 of the 4 members being visible in the picture. doug, j-raw and tom were my other team members and J.P. had the chance to drive fast and manacingly with a reason. it was very fun, but at the same time, very tiring, considering how big the campus is, within an hour. but it was a exhilarating dash around the campus and i discovered couple of things i never knew about, which is always a good thing. i felt so freaking tired, i had one of those very unusual 30 minute nap that actually worked. i tend not to fall asleep but just lie on the bed, since i find it so hard to fall asleep, but due to the fatigue, it worked marvelously.

day to day, i realize the impact of the british influence that singapore had on me. in terms of gesture, music, thinking and other things that i cannot think of right now. its rather weird, considering that i never thought i'd be like that. being a sceptic, pessimist, an occasional sarcastic comments and whatnot, its the typical behaviour, the only thing missing would be the black shirt that they wear (okay, that's an exaggerated stereotype)

do i want what i really want? lately that question has been haunting my mind. doing something half-convinced, always with a questionable doubt while doing whatever that im doing. ive been doing that for so long, i dont want to do it anymore. if i dont think im completely satisfied or committed, then im out. maybe i should take that action. or maybe i should not. there are pros and cons to every little thing, that its such a difficult task of deciding to do the right thing. i realized i contradict certain things at the same time while im trying to figure the best way possible.

urgh, here i go on and on again. its like i dont know how nor when to stop. so im just gonna stop. i might as well drop by the president's speech since i have some time now.