okay.. woke up to a very weird dream...

but one that made me feel good and at the same time sad...

in this dream, all i could remember that i was being v intimate wit someone. during the dream, it seemed like i knew her so well, but when i woke up, i had no clue how she looked like and all. but all i can remember is that she was very depressed or sad or seriously bothered by something. really bothered.

so i told her to come over and although she was reluctant at first, she eventually agreed, and then i took her in my arms and held her tight. then we were sittin down on a stool or a sofa or on the bed, juz huggin, she telling me what was wrong, while i consoled her that everythin was gonna b alright, that i was there for her. all the while i did that, i was holding her hands firmly and givin occasional kisses on her shoulder, neck and cheeks.

its like one of those moments that really convince u that ure in a true relationship, real serious one. where u can depend on eachother mentally and spiritually. and i felt so happy and comforted during the dream that i had met someone like that and being able to be like that.

but then when you wake up, the reality sinks in. it was all a dream and our most desired dreams most often dont materialize. and that depressed me so much. coz i probably will never experience somethin like that. unless its a relationship that cannot take place, because of difficulties, or probably a mainly sexual affair or some sort. one that cannot be prolonged, one that cannot last.

in a sense, i feel very cheated out of my feelings, one moment, you hav somethin that you wanted, and then to realize that there's very little chance that can happen.

but it felt so real and intimate. i was free in that world.

back to reality....