okay changed the outlook a while but i dont really like the feel of it yet. i'll try to edit whenever i can but i guess its ok for now.
not gonna say much today, except for the fact tt war against the A's has begun. i'll try my best to prepare myself for the dreaded chem prac n start grittin through my hatred organic chem as well. sigh here it is. less than a month to go.
Sunday, October 12, 2003
Saturday, October 11, 2003
"And I want to get free talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone"
I feel so liberated i dunno wat to say right now. sure, farewell assembly was a great thing. sad tt our sch lives has ended, but ecstatic as to wat the future holds. but watever it was, friday was a great day. we had a memorable ceremony, cool video by the teachers, wise words from da man Mr. Mannan, n singin the sch song for one united time. its all gd. but it was funny how the SASA guys n the cricket guys were lookin around for ppl to drag em into the guy's toilet to drench em wif water while everyone was eatin stuff from the reception. last day n we were bein mischievous rascals yet again. tt's another thing i'll always remember. We drenched Shafiq, Wayne, Iskie n soon, i was one of em too. haha. managed to turn the hose around so i brough Tash down in the end. it was damn cold but so fun. it was rather ironic how i took photos in tt condition after tt wif the cool clique. o yah, after two yrs of talkin n promisin, we finally went to take photo wif the mysterious dinosaur nearby to our sch. it was made of sponge but felt quite like how we expect dinosaur to feel like. so it was cool like tt. i went to the mosque later, then went home, showered, got rid of the wet clothes which were quite dry by then, then went to take tt x ray tt my doc asked me to take, juz in case theres somethin wit my lungs. i still think its my throat, not my lungs but we'll see bt tt.
After tt, rushed to orchard to meet Denise, Koustav n Marc juz in time. We caught Seabiscuit instead of Underworld tt Marc badly wanted to watch n accordin to Glen n Jaime who were at the same place, it wasnt gd. Seabiscuit was quite gd. it was one of the first time tt i actually observed the crowd clappin in unison when seabiscuit won over war admiral, the so called best horse. i tot it was only us clappin but it was more or less the whole crowd! was amazin sight. went to Zara later n we pretended to look for prom stuff, but in the end we were really lookin for prom stuff. found a blue shirt i really liked n everyone else said it looked quite gd. i'll get my dad n show him once he comes back. it'll go quite well wif the suit i'm gettin it done. Koustav bought a trench coat like stuff in the end n i'm quite happy tt he got somethin he really wanted. he looks quite gd in it too. only unhappy incident was this group of guys givin sneers n ridiculous look when Koustav was tryin it out. i wanted to juz shout 'wat the fuck r y'all lookin at. let him b, its not like u guys r so gd lookin n stylish, r ye!!?" ppl can b so mean sometimes. but watever, there's always some ppl like tt.
it was rather hilarious when juz b4 the movie, i met Dewi (a friend of mine, not the Dewi from SA) after quite some time n we chatted for a while b4 she went off wif her usual 'call me sometime' line n Marc was juz lookin at me smilin. he was like, 'wat was tt? call me sometime? *grin, smile smile Marc-style* n i juz couldnt stop laughin n mockin his reaction through out the later part of the day. haha... yea, wats up wit tt? its juz call me sometime. Dewi says it all the time. but the way he phrase it seem like theres somethin bt it. like some cheap style bout it. i kept nudgin him durin dinner n all n i juz couldnt stop it. haha, sorry man! u're juz too funny! as maddie says, he's Marc blur-kok ikan bilis Irawan n he truly lives up to its name! hail Marc!!
yea, then Denise left coz she was havin dinner wif her family. o yah i touched her ass! haha, actually we took this rather scandalous shot while at the dinosaur where she grabbed my 'casually talked about butt' n i grabbed hers, we looked backwards at Koustav while he took the photo. he couldnt stop laughin n b amused bt it too. Yea, then we went to hav dinner at Es Teler 77, an indon fast food chain tt Paulina introduced me to. Addy joined us later on n we had a pretty nice dinner. all of us bought different drinks n were shiftin around n around, tryin out wat the other was drinkin n findin out which ones the gd one. i got myself a gd meal wit the tastiest n crispiest chicken skin ive ever tasted. my god tt was so gd. i felt so full n content after tt i wish i was in heaven. or at least felt like tt for a while.
while we were walkin around, it really felt gd. this is wat it means to b 'free.' i finally realised. its like i never had proper time off ever since i joined sec sch coz there was always somethin for me to do, somethin to worry, coz i was always involved in somethin. i guess i had a partial break after O's but didnt quite feel like last nite. last nite, i was actually lookin forward to end of A's, when i can walk down free n liberal, not havin to worry bt anythin. actually it was quite the opposite considerin i still hav my A's n i was sittin for SAT right the next day, but i wasnt too worried, surprisingly. i mean, u cant do much bt SAT coz i've pretty much done watever i could. so it was like, graduation, next day, take the test tt'll determine everythin. was quite cool thinkin like tt. now all i need to do is to do well on A's, SAT II, apply to colleges properly n i'll b able to enjoy the liberty for 7 mths! u gotta b so lookin forward to tt! i cant hardly wait!
this has been a long long time. ever since sec 3 or JC 1, even tho i had holiday, it was never a holidays coz u were always somewhat attached to word. be it council, exams, projects, now i had nothin. somehow i suddenly felt like A's wasnt a priority to me anymore. tt shouldnt b the case, but i was really feelin like tt. so when i was walkin alone on the way back to the busstop, i bet ppl walkin past me wouldve imagine to themselves thinkin, my, y is this guy smilin to himself or somethin like tt. but truthfully, sorry i keep on sayin it over n over, but it felt gd. to b free. i'll juz work hard for the next 2, 3 months, finishin everythin, n it'll all b cool. its all gd.
SAT I's done. Verbal sucked, i'm afraid i might do worse than last time of verbal 540, but i'm pretty confident i'll do well for maths. mayb 700. i dunno, everytime i think like tt, i end up gettin some screwed up score so better not raise my hopes too high. might end up gettin 600. *gasp!* nah, cant b... ah well, watever the case, for the better or worse, i'm movin on. decided finally to apply to Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburg over giants of Cornell n U Penn coz of better chance of gettin in as well as better prospects of landing a top job. told u all b4, but IBM recruits freshbies from MIT n Carnegie Mellon exclusively, so i was rather temped at their Computer Science department. Cornell n U Penn r too high end, if u ask me. Also, gotta apply to Berkeley n UCLA tho the chances r v v slim, but i'll juz giv it a shot. haha, who knows, i might juz get a big pack at the end of Dec tellin me i'm goin to CM! I'll feel so happy i think i would die! haha, hope, fingers crossed everyone. future seems sure brighter than anythin i've ever imagined.
so tt's one major paper gone. i'm gonna mug for maths n chem from now on n gd riddance to tt god darned SAT prep bk. gonna giv it to my bro to train him from now. he's a hardworker, so he might eclipse my performance.
i keep recallin the scene when i was tellin Marc; Hey, our lives r gonna b so cool once its all over man.
N then we would juz smile in anticipation of greater goods to come. This is to ecstatic. n i juz got a call from our NS man, Junwen. He tells me he's all gd n all. I'm happy tt he's not havin too much of a rough time in NS. See, this is wat i mean, complete serene happiness. only if i had someone to sit down n listen to some jazz or soft R&B n juz chill out. we will we will, once our war is over. o plz, let this heaven b extended for long as we can enjoy. life is so short, we forget wat its worth. but now i know. now i know...
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone"
I feel so liberated i dunno wat to say right now. sure, farewell assembly was a great thing. sad tt our sch lives has ended, but ecstatic as to wat the future holds. but watever it was, friday was a great day. we had a memorable ceremony, cool video by the teachers, wise words from da man Mr. Mannan, n singin the sch song for one united time. its all gd. but it was funny how the SASA guys n the cricket guys were lookin around for ppl to drag em into the guy's toilet to drench em wif water while everyone was eatin stuff from the reception. last day n we were bein mischievous rascals yet again. tt's another thing i'll always remember. We drenched Shafiq, Wayne, Iskie n soon, i was one of em too. haha. managed to turn the hose around so i brough Tash down in the end. it was damn cold but so fun. it was rather ironic how i took photos in tt condition after tt wif the cool clique. o yah, after two yrs of talkin n promisin, we finally went to take photo wif the mysterious dinosaur nearby to our sch. it was made of sponge but felt quite like how we expect dinosaur to feel like. so it was cool like tt. i went to the mosque later, then went home, showered, got rid of the wet clothes which were quite dry by then, then went to take tt x ray tt my doc asked me to take, juz in case theres somethin wit my lungs. i still think its my throat, not my lungs but we'll see bt tt.
After tt, rushed to orchard to meet Denise, Koustav n Marc juz in time. We caught Seabiscuit instead of Underworld tt Marc badly wanted to watch n accordin to Glen n Jaime who were at the same place, it wasnt gd. Seabiscuit was quite gd. it was one of the first time tt i actually observed the crowd clappin in unison when seabiscuit won over war admiral, the so called best horse. i tot it was only us clappin but it was more or less the whole crowd! was amazin sight. went to Zara later n we pretended to look for prom stuff, but in the end we were really lookin for prom stuff. found a blue shirt i really liked n everyone else said it looked quite gd. i'll get my dad n show him once he comes back. it'll go quite well wif the suit i'm gettin it done. Koustav bought a trench coat like stuff in the end n i'm quite happy tt he got somethin he really wanted. he looks quite gd in it too. only unhappy incident was this group of guys givin sneers n ridiculous look when Koustav was tryin it out. i wanted to juz shout 'wat the fuck r y'all lookin at. let him b, its not like u guys r so gd lookin n stylish, r ye!!?" ppl can b so mean sometimes. but watever, there's always some ppl like tt.
it was rather hilarious when juz b4 the movie, i met Dewi (a friend of mine, not the Dewi from SA) after quite some time n we chatted for a while b4 she went off wif her usual 'call me sometime' line n Marc was juz lookin at me smilin. he was like, 'wat was tt? call me sometime? *grin, smile smile Marc-style* n i juz couldnt stop laughin n mockin his reaction through out the later part of the day. haha... yea, wats up wit tt? its juz call me sometime. Dewi says it all the time. but the way he phrase it seem like theres somethin bt it. like some cheap style bout it. i kept nudgin him durin dinner n all n i juz couldnt stop it. haha, sorry man! u're juz too funny! as maddie says, he's Marc blur-kok ikan bilis Irawan n he truly lives up to its name! hail Marc!!
yea, then Denise left coz she was havin dinner wif her family. o yah i touched her ass! haha, actually we took this rather scandalous shot while at the dinosaur where she grabbed my 'casually talked about butt' n i grabbed hers, we looked backwards at Koustav while he took the photo. he couldnt stop laughin n b amused bt it too. Yea, then we went to hav dinner at Es Teler 77, an indon fast food chain tt Paulina introduced me to. Addy joined us later on n we had a pretty nice dinner. all of us bought different drinks n were shiftin around n around, tryin out wat the other was drinkin n findin out which ones the gd one. i got myself a gd meal wit the tastiest n crispiest chicken skin ive ever tasted. my god tt was so gd. i felt so full n content after tt i wish i was in heaven. or at least felt like tt for a while.
while we were walkin around, it really felt gd. this is wat it means to b 'free.' i finally realised. its like i never had proper time off ever since i joined sec sch coz there was always somethin for me to do, somethin to worry, coz i was always involved in somethin. i guess i had a partial break after O's but didnt quite feel like last nite. last nite, i was actually lookin forward to end of A's, when i can walk down free n liberal, not havin to worry bt anythin. actually it was quite the opposite considerin i still hav my A's n i was sittin for SAT right the next day, but i wasnt too worried, surprisingly. i mean, u cant do much bt SAT coz i've pretty much done watever i could. so it was like, graduation, next day, take the test tt'll determine everythin. was quite cool thinkin like tt. now all i need to do is to do well on A's, SAT II, apply to colleges properly n i'll b able to enjoy the liberty for 7 mths! u gotta b so lookin forward to tt! i cant hardly wait!
this has been a long long time. ever since sec 3 or JC 1, even tho i had holiday, it was never a holidays coz u were always somewhat attached to word. be it council, exams, projects, now i had nothin. somehow i suddenly felt like A's wasnt a priority to me anymore. tt shouldnt b the case, but i was really feelin like tt. so when i was walkin alone on the way back to the busstop, i bet ppl walkin past me wouldve imagine to themselves thinkin, my, y is this guy smilin to himself or somethin like tt. but truthfully, sorry i keep on sayin it over n over, but it felt gd. to b free. i'll juz work hard for the next 2, 3 months, finishin everythin, n it'll all b cool. its all gd.
SAT I's done. Verbal sucked, i'm afraid i might do worse than last time of verbal 540, but i'm pretty confident i'll do well for maths. mayb 700. i dunno, everytime i think like tt, i end up gettin some screwed up score so better not raise my hopes too high. might end up gettin 600. *gasp!* nah, cant b... ah well, watever the case, for the better or worse, i'm movin on. decided finally to apply to Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburg over giants of Cornell n U Penn coz of better chance of gettin in as well as better prospects of landing a top job. told u all b4, but IBM recruits freshbies from MIT n Carnegie Mellon exclusively, so i was rather temped at their Computer Science department. Cornell n U Penn r too high end, if u ask me. Also, gotta apply to Berkeley n UCLA tho the chances r v v slim, but i'll juz giv it a shot. haha, who knows, i might juz get a big pack at the end of Dec tellin me i'm goin to CM! I'll feel so happy i think i would die! haha, hope, fingers crossed everyone. future seems sure brighter than anythin i've ever imagined.
so tt's one major paper gone. i'm gonna mug for maths n chem from now on n gd riddance to tt god darned SAT prep bk. gonna giv it to my bro to train him from now. he's a hardworker, so he might eclipse my performance.
i keep recallin the scene when i was tellin Marc; Hey, our lives r gonna b so cool once its all over man.
N then we would juz smile in anticipation of greater goods to come. This is to ecstatic. n i juz got a call from our NS man, Junwen. He tells me he's all gd n all. I'm happy tt he's not havin too much of a rough time in NS. See, this is wat i mean, complete serene happiness. only if i had someone to sit down n listen to some jazz or soft R&B n juz chill out. we will we will, once our war is over. o plz, let this heaven b extended for long as we can enjoy. life is so short, we forget wat its worth. but now i know. now i know...
Thursday, October 09, 2003
It's a beautiful day I heard everybody say
The sun shines down for all of us
Just the same you know I like the rain
That ain't so obvious
It's a beautiful sight I guess everybody's right
This day belongs to all of us
Even still I like with a chill
That ain't so obvious
We are the normal
We live and we die
With no reason why
It's a beautiful life and I've got it in my sights
And that ain't for all of us
It's a beautiful sound
My life comes crashing down
That ain't so obvious
It's a beautiful sin and I'm doing it again
And that ain't for all of us
It's a beautiful life and I've got it in my sights
Ain't that so obvious
We are the normal
We live and we die
With no reason why
yea i've not had two night's entry coz i was so tired so busy n basically, didnt hav much to write abt.
anyway, i think i can sum up three days' worth of thoughts into this i think will b a v long entry.
so we finished last proper day of sch. tomorrow is farewell assembly n a load of phototakin, goin out to the movies, dinner to sum up our last day of sch in our lives. its gonna b a smashin day, i can feel it. suddenly memories come flashin into my mind. the orientation, speaker's club, o level results, permanent class, joinin the council, promos, OBS, grad nite, our own orientation, interaction with the new first three months intakes, animal farm, trip to U.S., steppin down, brief time wif the cricket team, prelims, n here we r. those were major moments in my life i'll prob never forget.
but there r some thoughts still lingerin in my mind. there's always this case of 'wat if' i had done these things. firstly, if i really had gone to JC for academic reasons, i would hav gone to ACJC or PJC coz those two r the only JCs tt provide my first choice subject combination. tt's MC, Phy, Chem n Computing. but SA couldnt do tt. if not, i would hav taken FM. bein the case, i wouldnt hav joined a taxin activity like drama n council. but then, tt wouldnt hav been fun juz studyin. i might hav joined some obscure CCA to pass time while maintainin my studies. but i didnt do tt. coz experience in JC, or high sch, is invaluable. n if i ask me today whether i would hav traded those experience for gd grades n satisfaction of my subjects. but its juz a lingerin thought. Wat if...? ACJC is full of interestin ppl, i'm told. but there r downsides to it as well. PJC would hav been great too, coz my gd friends sch there, but is generally considered a sub standard sch, which i dont really care. but in SA, i hav met wif great individuals tt shaped my very character, my mindset. n one thing i wouldnt hav done elsewhere is to develop myself as whole by participatin in a whole lot of different stuff like emceein, debates, student leadership, acting, bein a sports man n at times cultural representative. these stuff i would hav never managed to achieve in ACJC, i'm led to believe. at the expense of my academic results, i gained all tt. n i cant ask for anythin more. tt's wat i wanted to do, tt's wat i got. besides, these r things i'll prob never get to do again. academic results, well, i'm goin to a place tt can offer a second chance. but i'll do my best in the comin ones.
one regret might b tt i didnt exactly get to know a whole load of ppl. i mean, by normal standards, i think ive gotten to know more than enough ppl through my various activities n all. but there r certain ppl i wish i was closer to, or get to know better than juz hi-bye relationship, or those who the closest u got to was juz an eye contact. ive had great friends no doubt. so much so i dont really wanna leave singapore juz coz of em. but life has to go on. i was tellin Adeline, Clarisse n Koustav today, tt i've gotten to know a lot of ppl, but very few i can truly consider gd friends, those who u can confide in, share ur probs, spend gd time together n all. i've only managed to develop a handful, which is enough, but i wanted to reach a level where i could b considered more than juz tt for many other ppl. mayb its juz the way i represent myself. mayb its the way i relate to ppl. mayb its coz of the way i look. i dunno. but its definately better than b4. i used to b considered aloof, proud, stuck up n all but ppl hav told me ive changed. i guess tts gd in a way.
o yea, there wasnt much romance in my life too. haha, askin for too much i guess. but i pretty had my mind set up. try not to get into anythin too serious. i'm leavin after JC. in fact, i tot i was leavin after O's so b4 tt, i was already v cold in terms of gettin intimate wif anyone. things might hav changed since then. i'm not too sure bt the situation now. but tt's a little too private issue tt only if ure my close friend, then u'll know of it.
but i'm happy. more than. i'm v content. i mean, how could i not b? i've pretty much led a life tt most teenagers would hav wanted. active in sch, i wont say i was famous, but i guess lot of ppl knew who i was n all, i was havin fun like any other ppl, i knew the 'popular' ones in sch, i was in quite a gd position in terms of CCAs n stuff n had a truly wonderful 2 yrs. well, gonna b soon.
JC life has taught me many things as well as lettin me experience new stuff. things like not doin ur work n attendin lessons, skippin lectures, goin off early so as to meet a friend, failin exams n not carin much abt it, not go to sch coz i dont feel like it, doin things tt would've definately got me into trouble, but managed to escape through tt, hangin around wif potential trouble, but learnin a great deal from em, n the list can go on n on.
but it has to end.
saturday mornin will mark the start of my war. i'll sit for my SAT I, then i'll start muggin for chem n maths, n at the same time preparin for SAT II n fillin up college application. i dont think i'll do too well for my A's but tt's not too essential considerin my case. but i'll face up to the challenge n see wat i can do abt it. it'll b a long long 1.5 mths, but i'll survive, or so i hope. i can do it, oh yes i can.
at this moment i would like to thank very certain individuals from SAJC, who has provided me with a great time. im writin as tho i'm dyin, but i'm not. n yea, if i do forget to put in ur name here, plz dont feel insulted or get angry. there r so many names in my head now i wont b surprised if i miss certain names. so plz accept my apologies.
A big big thank yous to
The 25th Student Council
02S57
All involved in Animal Farm
Speaker's Club
The Championship winning cricket team
ICS
and these special individuals: (not in any order of merit, juz typin as names come rollin into my mind);
Adeline, Ahmad Azizul, Allan, Alwyn, Arvinder, Candace, Chia How, Clarisse, Denise, Ervin, Evelyn, Glen, Harith, Hui, Iskandar, Jaime, Jennifer, Jessica, Jia Xian, Jonas, Joseph, Junli, Junwen, Kimberly, Koustav, Kuan Sian, Lauren, Lem, Lionel, Lokesh, Madeline, Marc, Marcus, Mark, Melvin, Merrilyn, Meyer, Natalie, Nolan, Perry, Praga, Roxanne, Shafiq, Stella, Suhannia, Sunny, Talib, Thash, Theresa, Tinaga, Utkarsh, Vasan, Victor, Vignesh, Wayne, Winfrid, Xiu Ming, Yan Wei, Yen Yen, Zeeshan, Zhan Xiang, Zhengwei, Zul n i know a many other more but i'm so sorry, theres too many names already! i'll add em as i recall who i've missed n all!
I'll dedicate a song to u all whether or not u've been named above or not. its a song called "Best Days" by a relatively unknown R&B-Jazz band from Denmark or Belgium, called 'Juice';
"Best Days" by Juice
Am I happy - maybe not
But I never wanna lose what I got
I wouldn't trade it for anything dear to my heart, oh no
You take the good times with the bad
How else would you know happy from sad
Sooner or later
You gonna have to finally look back
And you'll look back and see
What happened in between
And you'll appreciate
Each and every single day
The pop of the cork
And the cling of the glasses
We toast to the future
And we drink to the past
It might not be easy
But nevertheless
These are the best days (of our lives)
Sometimes the weather can be rain
But one day it will be sunny again
Without the clouds of life
It's just another sunny day
The pop of the cork
And the cling of the glasses
We toast to the future
And we drink to the past
It might not be easy
But nevertheless
These are the best days (of our lives)
These are the times
That I will never forget
These are the best days (of our lives)
And you'll look back and see
What happened in between
And you'll appreciate
Each and every single day
The pop of the cork
And the cling of the glasses
We toast to the future
And we drink to the past
It might not be easy
But nevertheless
These are the best days (of our lives)
It might not be easy
But nevertheless
These are the best days of our lives
So lets enjoy tomorrow n get up to tt studyin. after November, we can forget bt everythin!
The sun shines down for all of us
Just the same you know I like the rain
That ain't so obvious
It's a beautiful sight I guess everybody's right
This day belongs to all of us
Even still I like with a chill
That ain't so obvious
We are the normal
We live and we die
With no reason why
It's a beautiful life and I've got it in my sights
And that ain't for all of us
It's a beautiful sound
My life comes crashing down
That ain't so obvious
It's a beautiful sin and I'm doing it again
And that ain't for all of us
It's a beautiful life and I've got it in my sights
Ain't that so obvious
We are the normal
We live and we die
With no reason why
yea i've not had two night's entry coz i was so tired so busy n basically, didnt hav much to write abt.
anyway, i think i can sum up three days' worth of thoughts into this i think will b a v long entry.
so we finished last proper day of sch. tomorrow is farewell assembly n a load of phototakin, goin out to the movies, dinner to sum up our last day of sch in our lives. its gonna b a smashin day, i can feel it. suddenly memories come flashin into my mind. the orientation, speaker's club, o level results, permanent class, joinin the council, promos, OBS, grad nite, our own orientation, interaction with the new first three months intakes, animal farm, trip to U.S., steppin down, brief time wif the cricket team, prelims, n here we r. those were major moments in my life i'll prob never forget.
but there r some thoughts still lingerin in my mind. there's always this case of 'wat if' i had done these things. firstly, if i really had gone to JC for academic reasons, i would hav gone to ACJC or PJC coz those two r the only JCs tt provide my first choice subject combination. tt's MC, Phy, Chem n Computing. but SA couldnt do tt. if not, i would hav taken FM. bein the case, i wouldnt hav joined a taxin activity like drama n council. but then, tt wouldnt hav been fun juz studyin. i might hav joined some obscure CCA to pass time while maintainin my studies. but i didnt do tt. coz experience in JC, or high sch, is invaluable. n if i ask me today whether i would hav traded those experience for gd grades n satisfaction of my subjects. but its juz a lingerin thought. Wat if...? ACJC is full of interestin ppl, i'm told. but there r downsides to it as well. PJC would hav been great too, coz my gd friends sch there, but is generally considered a sub standard sch, which i dont really care. but in SA, i hav met wif great individuals tt shaped my very character, my mindset. n one thing i wouldnt hav done elsewhere is to develop myself as whole by participatin in a whole lot of different stuff like emceein, debates, student leadership, acting, bein a sports man n at times cultural representative. these stuff i would hav never managed to achieve in ACJC, i'm led to believe. at the expense of my academic results, i gained all tt. n i cant ask for anythin more. tt's wat i wanted to do, tt's wat i got. besides, these r things i'll prob never get to do again. academic results, well, i'm goin to a place tt can offer a second chance. but i'll do my best in the comin ones.
one regret might b tt i didnt exactly get to know a whole load of ppl. i mean, by normal standards, i think ive gotten to know more than enough ppl through my various activities n all. but there r certain ppl i wish i was closer to, or get to know better than juz hi-bye relationship, or those who the closest u got to was juz an eye contact. ive had great friends no doubt. so much so i dont really wanna leave singapore juz coz of em. but life has to go on. i was tellin Adeline, Clarisse n Koustav today, tt i've gotten to know a lot of ppl, but very few i can truly consider gd friends, those who u can confide in, share ur probs, spend gd time together n all. i've only managed to develop a handful, which is enough, but i wanted to reach a level where i could b considered more than juz tt for many other ppl. mayb its juz the way i represent myself. mayb its the way i relate to ppl. mayb its coz of the way i look. i dunno. but its definately better than b4. i used to b considered aloof, proud, stuck up n all but ppl hav told me ive changed. i guess tts gd in a way.
o yea, there wasnt much romance in my life too. haha, askin for too much i guess. but i pretty had my mind set up. try not to get into anythin too serious. i'm leavin after JC. in fact, i tot i was leavin after O's so b4 tt, i was already v cold in terms of gettin intimate wif anyone. things might hav changed since then. i'm not too sure bt the situation now. but tt's a little too private issue tt only if ure my close friend, then u'll know of it.
but i'm happy. more than. i'm v content. i mean, how could i not b? i've pretty much led a life tt most teenagers would hav wanted. active in sch, i wont say i was famous, but i guess lot of ppl knew who i was n all, i was havin fun like any other ppl, i knew the 'popular' ones in sch, i was in quite a gd position in terms of CCAs n stuff n had a truly wonderful 2 yrs. well, gonna b soon.
JC life has taught me many things as well as lettin me experience new stuff. things like not doin ur work n attendin lessons, skippin lectures, goin off early so as to meet a friend, failin exams n not carin much abt it, not go to sch coz i dont feel like it, doin things tt would've definately got me into trouble, but managed to escape through tt, hangin around wif potential trouble, but learnin a great deal from em, n the list can go on n on.
but it has to end.
saturday mornin will mark the start of my war. i'll sit for my SAT I, then i'll start muggin for chem n maths, n at the same time preparin for SAT II n fillin up college application. i dont think i'll do too well for my A's but tt's not too essential considerin my case. but i'll face up to the challenge n see wat i can do abt it. it'll b a long long 1.5 mths, but i'll survive, or so i hope. i can do it, oh yes i can.
at this moment i would like to thank very certain individuals from SAJC, who has provided me with a great time. im writin as tho i'm dyin, but i'm not. n yea, if i do forget to put in ur name here, plz dont feel insulted or get angry. there r so many names in my head now i wont b surprised if i miss certain names. so plz accept my apologies.
A big big thank yous to
The 25th Student Council
02S57
All involved in Animal Farm
Speaker's Club
The Championship winning cricket team
ICS
and these special individuals: (not in any order of merit, juz typin as names come rollin into my mind);
Adeline, Ahmad Azizul, Allan, Alwyn, Arvinder, Candace, Chia How, Clarisse, Denise, Ervin, Evelyn, Glen, Harith, Hui, Iskandar, Jaime, Jennifer, Jessica, Jia Xian, Jonas, Joseph, Junli, Junwen, Kimberly, Koustav, Kuan Sian, Lauren, Lem, Lionel, Lokesh, Madeline, Marc, Marcus, Mark, Melvin, Merrilyn, Meyer, Natalie, Nolan, Perry, Praga, Roxanne, Shafiq, Stella, Suhannia, Sunny, Talib, Thash, Theresa, Tinaga, Utkarsh, Vasan, Victor, Vignesh, Wayne, Winfrid, Xiu Ming, Yan Wei, Yen Yen, Zeeshan, Zhan Xiang, Zhengwei, Zul n i know a many other more but i'm so sorry, theres too many names already! i'll add em as i recall who i've missed n all!
I'll dedicate a song to u all whether or not u've been named above or not. its a song called "Best Days" by a relatively unknown R&B-Jazz band from Denmark or Belgium, called 'Juice';
"Best Days" by Juice
Am I happy - maybe not
But I never wanna lose what I got
I wouldn't trade it for anything dear to my heart, oh no
You take the good times with the bad
How else would you know happy from sad
Sooner or later
You gonna have to finally look back
And you'll look back and see
What happened in between
And you'll appreciate
Each and every single day
The pop of the cork
And the cling of the glasses
We toast to the future
And we drink to the past
It might not be easy
But nevertheless
These are the best days (of our lives)
Sometimes the weather can be rain
But one day it will be sunny again
Without the clouds of life
It's just another sunny day
The pop of the cork
And the cling of the glasses
We toast to the future
And we drink to the past
It might not be easy
But nevertheless
These are the best days (of our lives)
These are the times
That I will never forget
These are the best days (of our lives)
And you'll look back and see
What happened in between
And you'll appreciate
Each and every single day
The pop of the cork
And the cling of the glasses
We toast to the future
And we drink to the past
It might not be easy
But nevertheless
These are the best days (of our lives)
It might not be easy
But nevertheless
These are the best days of our lives
So lets enjoy tomorrow n get up to tt studyin. after November, we can forget bt everythin!
Monday, October 06, 2003
"Give me one reason to stay here - and I'll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here - and I'll turn right back around
Because I don't want leave you lonely
But you got to make me change my mind"
Suddenly started listenin to lyrical genius Tracy Chapman today. She's juz oh my. genius isnt the word to describe. its a livin legend. her songs r so personal n so honest. not many can stand country like music but i make an exception for her anytime.
Hmm... lectures were bad, BAD, B-A-D. i somehow went through two periods of phy lect which went through a pretty much straight forward qtn, i didnt see any reason y we spent so much time on it. we couldve moved on much faster has it been done by Mr. Chan or Mr. Mannan. I initially intended to go off n not attend chem lect, but Marc managed to make me stay n attend. but i couldnt take it anymore after tt. skipped GP n maths to do my own maths. i think i did farely well for the stats considerin my standards. i think my tuition tutor's magic helped a lot. i could actually manipulate things in n out n could answer few of them pretty simply. but theres still work to b done. a lot more. i'm gonna go back to doin SAT for the rest of this wk n i'll b doin chem from then on. woo... A's r officially startin next wk. i'm so screwed still.
Marc showed me the brochure for his institute of photography today n i mus say, its v temptin to specialise in these field. i think he's gonna hav a great time. he said this one, Brooks Institute of Photography, is one of the best in the field n if he manages to get in, everythin will b gd. he said he was so excited by it he suddenly felt like not carin anymore for A's anymore. haha, now he knows how i feel. A's wont make any diff anymore. it'll juz b a extra piece of data to show off.
Anyway...
I told all of ya! I knew it! Kieron Dyer was involved somehow! He denies havin participated in the rape but he booked the hotel rooms in his name for all the rest. but now the story gets rather complicated coz info provided starts to conflict. the girl said she agreed to hav sex wif a player, but now theres a new person, who is juz a party organiser, who said he was the one who had sex wif the girl initially. so she didnt do it wif a footballer. afterwards, accordin to new source, two premiership players n 2 others joined in, not 7 like the girl said. n in a turn of events, the girl didnt resist. instead of cryin n runnin away after the ordeal, she actually stayed wif em till the mornin n had breakfast wif em. hmmm... now wats it gonna b? it seems now tt this girl went in wif the intention of sellin the story rite? these footballers shouldve known it was comin... so now, we cant believe either side coz obviously, watever each side is sayin is bein said in a way to conceal their guilty side n giv inaccurate extra info to cover up. this is when stories like this gets ugly.
hmm... i'm feelin rather tired n sleepy after all tt maths durin the day n durin the test. guess i'm goin off early.
one pt to note tho.. its funny how guys/girls can totally change themselves for someone. its like they no longer are ppl we knew em to b coz they're wif someone now. wonder y's tt... i wouldnt 'completely' change myself. ah well, diff ppl diff reaction i guess.
"Baby just give me one reason - Give me just one reason why
Baby just give me one reason - Give me just one reason why I should stay
Because I told you that I loved you
And there ain't no more to say"
Give me one reason to stay here - and I'll turn right back around
Because I don't want leave you lonely
But you got to make me change my mind"
Suddenly started listenin to lyrical genius Tracy Chapman today. She's juz oh my. genius isnt the word to describe. its a livin legend. her songs r so personal n so honest. not many can stand country like music but i make an exception for her anytime.
Hmm... lectures were bad, BAD, B-A-D. i somehow went through two periods of phy lect which went through a pretty much straight forward qtn, i didnt see any reason y we spent so much time on it. we couldve moved on much faster has it been done by Mr. Chan or Mr. Mannan. I initially intended to go off n not attend chem lect, but Marc managed to make me stay n attend. but i couldnt take it anymore after tt. skipped GP n maths to do my own maths. i think i did farely well for the stats considerin my standards. i think my tuition tutor's magic helped a lot. i could actually manipulate things in n out n could answer few of them pretty simply. but theres still work to b done. a lot more. i'm gonna go back to doin SAT for the rest of this wk n i'll b doin chem from then on. woo... A's r officially startin next wk. i'm so screwed still.
Marc showed me the brochure for his institute of photography today n i mus say, its v temptin to specialise in these field. i think he's gonna hav a great time. he said this one, Brooks Institute of Photography, is one of the best in the field n if he manages to get in, everythin will b gd. he said he was so excited by it he suddenly felt like not carin anymore for A's anymore. haha, now he knows how i feel. A's wont make any diff anymore. it'll juz b a extra piece of data to show off.
Anyway...
I told all of ya! I knew it! Kieron Dyer was involved somehow! He denies havin participated in the rape but he booked the hotel rooms in his name for all the rest. but now the story gets rather complicated coz info provided starts to conflict. the girl said she agreed to hav sex wif a player, but now theres a new person, who is juz a party organiser, who said he was the one who had sex wif the girl initially. so she didnt do it wif a footballer. afterwards, accordin to new source, two premiership players n 2 others joined in, not 7 like the girl said. n in a turn of events, the girl didnt resist. instead of cryin n runnin away after the ordeal, she actually stayed wif em till the mornin n had breakfast wif em. hmmm... now wats it gonna b? it seems now tt this girl went in wif the intention of sellin the story rite? these footballers shouldve known it was comin... so now, we cant believe either side coz obviously, watever each side is sayin is bein said in a way to conceal their guilty side n giv inaccurate extra info to cover up. this is when stories like this gets ugly.
hmm... i'm feelin rather tired n sleepy after all tt maths durin the day n durin the test. guess i'm goin off early.
one pt to note tho.. its funny how guys/girls can totally change themselves for someone. its like they no longer are ppl we knew em to b coz they're wif someone now. wonder y's tt... i wouldnt 'completely' change myself. ah well, diff ppl diff reaction i guess.
"Baby just give me one reason - Give me just one reason why
Baby just give me one reason - Give me just one reason why I should stay
Because I told you that I loved you
And there ain't no more to say"
Sunday, October 05, 2003
"I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name"
woke up feelin quite fucked. like the body feelin so lathargic n not wantin to do anythin else but to remain on the bed n stone. but it was not to b. it was only 9 on a sunday mornin, n i got up to read the papers. i still find the new sunday times weird to browse through n i had to flip couple of times b4 arrivin at the sports section. no developments on the rape allegation, only new piece of info is tt the player tt the girl agreed to hav sex wit is a chelsea player. hmm...
newcastle won but tt only improved their position by one. but we've got a game in hand n if we win tt n everyone else loses, we shoot all the way to 11th place. a big big morale booster tt would b. but we're not playin anymore till the 15th oct, in the almost guaranteed to go through UEFA Cup First Round Second Leg against NAC Breda.
downloaded the first episode of season 10 of friends last nite n got down to watchin it after tt. my my, season 10 is gonna b so much funnier than b4. i'm not gonna say much else coz i can already feel the glares of Clarisse, Denise n Koustav tellin me "I'll kill u if u say a word more" but its really. the second episode went one better than the first, ross makin a total fool outta himself. but i shant go on. i cant possibly wait till march or april to see em coz i dont think i'll b here anymore.
went to help my parents do grocery shoppin like any other sunday n had shower, ate lunch rather quickly b4 i had tuition. today's session was rather gd. the tutor really made me feel like i actually knew everythin, only tt i couldnt put em into use most of the time. she tested me in various ways n i was surprised i actually knew wat to do. i hope i continue to b like tt in the test tomorrow but as fate has it n as ive seen quite often in previous occasions, somethin will always happen to screw it up. ah well, as long as it doesnt happen in the A's i'm cool. while doin all the fine tunin, i realised i actually liked stats, only regrettin tt the sch didnt giv us a chance to do mechanics even tho we didnt hav time to cover em n all. i think my paper 2 would b in much better shape if i can do applied maths instead of juz stats.
watched second episode of friends b4 i succumbed to the temptation of goin for a light workout wif soccer.
felt v shagged after tt. showered again, ironed my uniform, watched a little tv, ate dinner n here i am, juz surfin abt, goin to fall asleep. my sunday's pretty much routine-like. but i like it coz its a day where i can totally rest my mind n prepare for another wk of madness.
i wanna compile another night CD to accompany me to sleep. i better start diggin up nice songs from my CD collection. actually i juz wanna listen to lauryn hill, coldplay n maxwell n some other crooners. but i'll c bt tt. i'm quite happy wit the other compilation, but could do one better wif this new one.
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name"
woke up feelin quite fucked. like the body feelin so lathargic n not wantin to do anythin else but to remain on the bed n stone. but it was not to b. it was only 9 on a sunday mornin, n i got up to read the papers. i still find the new sunday times weird to browse through n i had to flip couple of times b4 arrivin at the sports section. no developments on the rape allegation, only new piece of info is tt the player tt the girl agreed to hav sex wit is a chelsea player. hmm...
newcastle won but tt only improved their position by one. but we've got a game in hand n if we win tt n everyone else loses, we shoot all the way to 11th place. a big big morale booster tt would b. but we're not playin anymore till the 15th oct, in the almost guaranteed to go through UEFA Cup First Round Second Leg against NAC Breda.
downloaded the first episode of season 10 of friends last nite n got down to watchin it after tt. my my, season 10 is gonna b so much funnier than b4. i'm not gonna say much else coz i can already feel the glares of Clarisse, Denise n Koustav tellin me "I'll kill u if u say a word more" but its really. the second episode went one better than the first, ross makin a total fool outta himself. but i shant go on. i cant possibly wait till march or april to see em coz i dont think i'll b here anymore.
went to help my parents do grocery shoppin like any other sunday n had shower, ate lunch rather quickly b4 i had tuition. today's session was rather gd. the tutor really made me feel like i actually knew everythin, only tt i couldnt put em into use most of the time. she tested me in various ways n i was surprised i actually knew wat to do. i hope i continue to b like tt in the test tomorrow but as fate has it n as ive seen quite often in previous occasions, somethin will always happen to screw it up. ah well, as long as it doesnt happen in the A's i'm cool. while doin all the fine tunin, i realised i actually liked stats, only regrettin tt the sch didnt giv us a chance to do mechanics even tho we didnt hav time to cover em n all. i think my paper 2 would b in much better shape if i can do applied maths instead of juz stats.
watched second episode of friends b4 i succumbed to the temptation of goin for a light workout wif soccer.
felt v shagged after tt. showered again, ironed my uniform, watched a little tv, ate dinner n here i am, juz surfin abt, goin to fall asleep. my sunday's pretty much routine-like. but i like it coz its a day where i can totally rest my mind n prepare for another wk of madness.
i wanna compile another night CD to accompany me to sleep. i better start diggin up nice songs from my CD collection. actually i juz wanna listen to lauryn hill, coldplay n maxwell n some other crooners. but i'll c bt tt. i'm quite happy wit the other compilation, but could do one better wif this new one.
Saturday, October 04, 2003
"Everything you are
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you are"
Final score from St.James' Park
Newcastle United 1
Shearer (43rd)
Southampton 0
Weeee... first win in the Premier League this season! its been a long long wait, but its finally goin rite. big thumbs up n salutes to Big Al, scoring his 250 top flight goal tt got us the first win. i guess my superstition worked eh Denise? i took extra care to make sure it doesnt fall off after few days n even put up another picture tt had been covered by somethin else n subsequently the dust. but tt gets everythin goin off for me. hopefully this will signal the beginnin of better times. my war will start next wk n theres no turnin back after tt. it starts wit the SAT n i'm gonna do it, gettin inspiration from my hero, Shearer n Newcastle.
Hmm... really wanted to do a lot of work to free up the sunday, but it was not to be. woke up, had breakfast n the whole family was out to do couple of stuff for the day. first up to the dentist. i hadnt been there since March or so when i had to cancel an appointment either coz of Animal Farm practices or Council stuff. didnt get to reschedule till today. so i was up for the usual fittin in of retainers to check whether it was in shape, as well as my teeth alignments n the cleanin up. luckily they didnt do the salt clean thing. tt burns ur gums for the whole day. then went to cine to repair my phone, which wasnt vibratin anymore. haha, tt sounded quite wrong, hidden implications tho. the person told me to come back around 2, so we had abt 2 hrs to finish up couple of stuff. my mom wanted to get some new towels so off we went to taka, where we were checkin out different towels n arguin abt one bein too rough, too hard n ones tt wont absorb much water when we dry ourselves. in the end, got watever we tot were ok n went up, my dad wantin to get a connecter so tt he can hook his new nokia 6010 to his laptop. we spent some time where, while i watched parts of swordfish n 2 fast 2 furious. my dad got his stuff, then we went down to collect my dad's specs. since it was my mom's birthday today, we let her choose wat we should eat for lunch n she selected this japanese place. so we quite a nice lunch, everyone pretty much content wit wat they ordered. i had for myself u.s. prime beef plus green tea soba n some slices of sashimi. i'm not too used to the sashimi still, so was worried if i would puke later on in the day. but didnt. haha. by then, it was near 3 so i collected my hp n then we went off. my dad deposited n collected his laundry n returned my dvd rentals n we were back home. i did a little of SAT again, but couldnt force myself to continue after tt nice meal. initially intended to play soccer like any other saturday, but fell asleep instead. ah well, i guess i juz gotta do all the work tomorrow. then, as usual, it was premiership saturday.
certain things were crossin my mind throughout today. coz in one of the SAT passage, this particular passage spoke of an author's experience bein a son of mexican immigrant family settlin in america. tt made me think, since i didnt grow up in america, there would b certain aspects of life tt i'll always find it not part of myself if i eventually decide to live there. things like the numerous holidays tt they hav, which significance i'm not really aware of, those christian holidays such a st.patrick's day, thanksgiving, etc which i've not really seen christians in singapore celebrate n all. n i wont b able to understand certain pts in their lives. like the passage, where the author could see how his parents were adaptin to the new surroundings, but it was always obvious they were outsiders. i would want my kids to go through tt kinda thing n grow up feelin like strangers. if possible, at all, i would want em to grow up like any other american n lead their lives in no different ways like theirs so tt they would not hav to worry bt who they should b socialisin wit. tt would mean i would hav to celebrate days like thanksgivin, christmas n all other days while they grow up. i wouldnt know who i would marry yet, but watever the case, it wouldnt b right if my kids grow up not knowin wat these days represent n feel like they're missin out on somethin. tt seriously worried me coz i already at times feel pretty much an outsider, only tt i dont make issues out of it. i realise i'm bein put in an unusual, if not complicated situation but i've always been able to adapt or work my way around it. things like communication barrier in terms of language bein spoken, in terms of difference in religion, in terms of bein the minority, ive never actually seen these problesm hamper me but since i was facin all these probs since early on in my life, it has become normal to me. but tts how i became me. not everyone is like tt. n i wouldnt want my kids to suffer the same thing. any parent would want their kids to grow up not worryin n leadin a easy, enjoyable yet time. in a way, i could associate myself wit the author.
bengali writer Jhumpa Lahiri, winner of the pulitzer in 99 or 2000, i cant remember, recently published her first proper novel tt sort of is relevant to wat i've talked about above. i would really want to get my hands on tt bk n read it since i was pretty impressed wit her first book.
y am i thinkin so much ahead. its not like i'm plannin my whole life right now.
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you are"
Final score from St.James' Park
Newcastle United 1
Shearer (43rd)
Southampton 0
Weeee... first win in the Premier League this season! its been a long long wait, but its finally goin rite. big thumbs up n salutes to Big Al, scoring his 250 top flight goal tt got us the first win. i guess my superstition worked eh Denise? i took extra care to make sure it doesnt fall off after few days n even put up another picture tt had been covered by somethin else n subsequently the dust. but tt gets everythin goin off for me. hopefully this will signal the beginnin of better times. my war will start next wk n theres no turnin back after tt. it starts wit the SAT n i'm gonna do it, gettin inspiration from my hero, Shearer n Newcastle.
Hmm... really wanted to do a lot of work to free up the sunday, but it was not to be. woke up, had breakfast n the whole family was out to do couple of stuff for the day. first up to the dentist. i hadnt been there since March or so when i had to cancel an appointment either coz of Animal Farm practices or Council stuff. didnt get to reschedule till today. so i was up for the usual fittin in of retainers to check whether it was in shape, as well as my teeth alignments n the cleanin up. luckily they didnt do the salt clean thing. tt burns ur gums for the whole day. then went to cine to repair my phone, which wasnt vibratin anymore. haha, tt sounded quite wrong, hidden implications tho. the person told me to come back around 2, so we had abt 2 hrs to finish up couple of stuff. my mom wanted to get some new towels so off we went to taka, where we were checkin out different towels n arguin abt one bein too rough, too hard n ones tt wont absorb much water when we dry ourselves. in the end, got watever we tot were ok n went up, my dad wantin to get a connecter so tt he can hook his new nokia 6010 to his laptop. we spent some time where, while i watched parts of swordfish n 2 fast 2 furious. my dad got his stuff, then we went down to collect my dad's specs. since it was my mom's birthday today, we let her choose wat we should eat for lunch n she selected this japanese place. so we quite a nice lunch, everyone pretty much content wit wat they ordered. i had for myself u.s. prime beef plus green tea soba n some slices of sashimi. i'm not too used to the sashimi still, so was worried if i would puke later on in the day. but didnt. haha. by then, it was near 3 so i collected my hp n then we went off. my dad deposited n collected his laundry n returned my dvd rentals n we were back home. i did a little of SAT again, but couldnt force myself to continue after tt nice meal. initially intended to play soccer like any other saturday, but fell asleep instead. ah well, i guess i juz gotta do all the work tomorrow. then, as usual, it was premiership saturday.
certain things were crossin my mind throughout today. coz in one of the SAT passage, this particular passage spoke of an author's experience bein a son of mexican immigrant family settlin in america. tt made me think, since i didnt grow up in america, there would b certain aspects of life tt i'll always find it not part of myself if i eventually decide to live there. things like the numerous holidays tt they hav, which significance i'm not really aware of, those christian holidays such a st.patrick's day, thanksgiving, etc which i've not really seen christians in singapore celebrate n all. n i wont b able to understand certain pts in their lives. like the passage, where the author could see how his parents were adaptin to the new surroundings, but it was always obvious they were outsiders. i would want my kids to go through tt kinda thing n grow up feelin like strangers. if possible, at all, i would want em to grow up like any other american n lead their lives in no different ways like theirs so tt they would not hav to worry bt who they should b socialisin wit. tt would mean i would hav to celebrate days like thanksgivin, christmas n all other days while they grow up. i wouldnt know who i would marry yet, but watever the case, it wouldnt b right if my kids grow up not knowin wat these days represent n feel like they're missin out on somethin. tt seriously worried me coz i already at times feel pretty much an outsider, only tt i dont make issues out of it. i realise i'm bein put in an unusual, if not complicated situation but i've always been able to adapt or work my way around it. things like communication barrier in terms of language bein spoken, in terms of difference in religion, in terms of bein the minority, ive never actually seen these problesm hamper me but since i was facin all these probs since early on in my life, it has become normal to me. but tts how i became me. not everyone is like tt. n i wouldnt want my kids to suffer the same thing. any parent would want their kids to grow up not worryin n leadin a easy, enjoyable yet time. in a way, i could associate myself wit the author.
bengali writer Jhumpa Lahiri, winner of the pulitzer in 99 or 2000, i cant remember, recently published her first proper novel tt sort of is relevant to wat i've talked about above. i would really want to get my hands on tt bk n read it since i was pretty impressed wit her first book.
y am i thinkin so much ahead. its not like i'm plannin my whole life right now.
Friday, October 03, 2003
"You're cynical and beautiful
You always make a scene
You're monochrome delirious
You're nothing that you seem
I'm drowning in your vanity
Your laugh is a disease
You're dirty and you're sweet
You know you're everything to me"
Last day of proper lecture-tutorial classes in SA. Next wk will b my last wk of sch life. *sob sob* r u kiddin me, i cant b bothered if its all long lectures! Wats worse, i've still gotta sit for tests next wk. MC P2 stuff on mon n GP mock on tues. jeez...
Did SAT Verbal diagnostic, test 1 n test 2. from tt, i can now roughly gauge my performance n it doesnt seem too gd, but enough to land me in one of the state Us. I guess i gotta seriously consider transferin in the second year then. i guess it'll b gd for me.
So it was mostly the case of usual stuff for me. go to sch, assembly, went for only lesson i wanted to go for, phy tut, only to find out Mr Mannan was on MC. later found out he got fever. hope he becomes ok soon. so went back to council room to juz do Verbal stuff. my it is a headache doin tt analogies n somehow tryin to make a sense out of readin the passages so quickly n answerin em. i lose my concentration half way. i better work on tt.
yea, lotsa talkin cock wit Kuan Sian, Marc n others throughout the day.
so it was almost gonna b a short day, until, after prayers, i got a message from Paulina she was watchin "A Time For Dancing" tt stars Shiri Appleby! i wasnt sure who else wanted to watch it n coz i had such a tight schedule tt i couldnt contribute time to any other part of the wk, i decided on last min to watch it. I kinda expected the storyline to b somewat weak n almost cliche of any other teenage movie, but i was watchin it more or less coz of Shiri Appleby. she was this natural talent to fit in perfectly into any high school girl's role. I didnt get to see 'Swimfan' but i suppose her actin was gd. I cant say i've seen much of her except for Roswell, but i think all u need to see is her performance in Roswell to make u realise how gd she is. pity tt she cant really get major roles, she doesnt seem to hav tt bod or boobs necessary to make actresses reach tt 'super' level status. but she deserves to b on tt level, if u ask me. i guess everyone juz needs to watch the pilot episode of Roswell to juz get drawn to how she makes the role completely herself.
Well, it was quite sad to realise tt the movie wasnt tt gd. its one of those movie tt can only b appreciated by movie enthusiasts, not the majority of movie goers. i was almost gettin bored by the way the movie was portraited halfway. this is one of the very few movie tt i actually went to the toilet during the movie. usually i never do tt coz i cant stand missin out on a part which could b crucial n i'll never know. i hate missin the beginnin n anythin in between. only other movie i went off to piss n come back tt i can remember is X-Files. i still dunno the beginnin of Resident Evil n still not sure how the movie got started to make all the mess. But it was tt kinda movie. luckily i went off durin a dance segment, tho it was a Shiri dance part. ah well. but was surprised to find out it was based on a real story. its quite sad, to think abt it. dancin her whole life n to b struck down by cancer juz when she was goin to audition for Julliard School is unthinkable. It was so emotional the last part when Shiri Appleby was writin down in her journal tt she got accepted but she had to mail the deans of admissions, sayin tt the applicant is no longer alive.
walked around far east for a while b4 headin back. i showered, n then got down to doin SATs tt were meant to b done in the afternoon immediately. i planned the timin right n managed to finish up was i wanted to finish off today n still make it in time for Survivor: Pearl Islands.
Gotta go to the dentist tomorrow in the morning. then do somemore SATs b4 i study stats for monday's test. bleah, got no more time....
You always make a scene
You're monochrome delirious
You're nothing that you seem
I'm drowning in your vanity
Your laugh is a disease
You're dirty and you're sweet
You know you're everything to me"
Last day of proper lecture-tutorial classes in SA. Next wk will b my last wk of sch life. *sob sob* r u kiddin me, i cant b bothered if its all long lectures! Wats worse, i've still gotta sit for tests next wk. MC P2 stuff on mon n GP mock on tues. jeez...
Did SAT Verbal diagnostic, test 1 n test 2. from tt, i can now roughly gauge my performance n it doesnt seem too gd, but enough to land me in one of the state Us. I guess i gotta seriously consider transferin in the second year then. i guess it'll b gd for me.
So it was mostly the case of usual stuff for me. go to sch, assembly, went for only lesson i wanted to go for, phy tut, only to find out Mr Mannan was on MC. later found out he got fever. hope he becomes ok soon. so went back to council room to juz do Verbal stuff. my it is a headache doin tt analogies n somehow tryin to make a sense out of readin the passages so quickly n answerin em. i lose my concentration half way. i better work on tt.
yea, lotsa talkin cock wit Kuan Sian, Marc n others throughout the day.
so it was almost gonna b a short day, until, after prayers, i got a message from Paulina she was watchin "A Time For Dancing" tt stars Shiri Appleby! i wasnt sure who else wanted to watch it n coz i had such a tight schedule tt i couldnt contribute time to any other part of the wk, i decided on last min to watch it. I kinda expected the storyline to b somewat weak n almost cliche of any other teenage movie, but i was watchin it more or less coz of Shiri Appleby. she was this natural talent to fit in perfectly into any high school girl's role. I didnt get to see 'Swimfan' but i suppose her actin was gd. I cant say i've seen much of her except for Roswell, but i think all u need to see is her performance in Roswell to make u realise how gd she is. pity tt she cant really get major roles, she doesnt seem to hav tt bod or boobs necessary to make actresses reach tt 'super' level status. but she deserves to b on tt level, if u ask me. i guess everyone juz needs to watch the pilot episode of Roswell to juz get drawn to how she makes the role completely herself.
Well, it was quite sad to realise tt the movie wasnt tt gd. its one of those movie tt can only b appreciated by movie enthusiasts, not the majority of movie goers. i was almost gettin bored by the way the movie was portraited halfway. this is one of the very few movie tt i actually went to the toilet during the movie. usually i never do tt coz i cant stand missin out on a part which could b crucial n i'll never know. i hate missin the beginnin n anythin in between. only other movie i went off to piss n come back tt i can remember is X-Files. i still dunno the beginnin of Resident Evil n still not sure how the movie got started to make all the mess. But it was tt kinda movie. luckily i went off durin a dance segment, tho it was a Shiri dance part. ah well. but was surprised to find out it was based on a real story. its quite sad, to think abt it. dancin her whole life n to b struck down by cancer juz when she was goin to audition for Julliard School is unthinkable. It was so emotional the last part when Shiri Appleby was writin down in her journal tt she got accepted but she had to mail the deans of admissions, sayin tt the applicant is no longer alive.
walked around far east for a while b4 headin back. i showered, n then got down to doin SATs tt were meant to b done in the afternoon immediately. i planned the timin right n managed to finish up was i wanted to finish off today n still make it in time for Survivor: Pearl Islands.
Gotta go to the dentist tomorrow in the morning. then do somemore SATs b4 i study stats for monday's test. bleah, got no more time....
Thursday, October 02, 2003
"And I'll do anything you ever dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall
Oh may
Put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Oh may
Do you wanna get married or run away
I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide"
Tt's the part tt u were talkin bt rite, Hui? Yep, tt's a very nice section of the song indeed. Wish I could sing it to someone.
Another day of rottin in sch. Usually the first perioud would have been free but we had a so called talk today so tt wasnt to b. 'bust tt stress' was the talk. i was not payin complete attention so i cant say much bt it. but if i needed help i wouldnt get help from talks like these.
we were given 5 envelopes later for the sch to send us notices for various things in the future. tts when i tried to think where i'll b next yr. i'll b in uni, fittin in in the new environment, new friends n all. i couldnt tell exactly where i'll b, but juz wrote 2 for the current address here, which i think my dad, at least would b here. my mom n bro might stay for another yr. i wrote 2 to my aunt's address in Boston. most of our legal mails n registration stuff goes there so they'll forward me wherever i might b.
then came the highlight of a boring day. Lokesh's birthday bash. i muz say, it was one of the sickest acts of all bashes. he tried runnin away but i managed to catch up with him n Utkarsh subsequently took him to the toilet, arms tightly around his neck. haha, the prayer, singing of the birthday song, beatin the hell outta him, strippin him was the usual stuff tt we do to everyone. but wat happened after tt.. man, i can still feel like pukin. utkarsh got a pair of scissors out, we held Lokesh on the ground, i was pinnin one of his shoulders with my knees, Zee held the other n whole load of others holdin his arms n legs. but actually we didnt need to. coz he knew he better not move. y? coz utkarsh was cuttin his pubes off! i'm ok wit tt, cuttin his hair n pubes off. but wat Utkarsh did later... man... he took the bunch of freshly cut pubes n smeared them around Lokesh's face! i was like, no shit..! then Utkarsh took some more off, stuffed em into the nose n forced open the mouth. i so wanted to puke then. then we juz grabbed a hose, drenched him in water n ran off, usual style. haha. but his bashin was bad enough. ppl really kicked n punched the hell outta him... i guess the frustrations of prelims n all other stuff went to him, esp after tt stress bustin talk. instead of takin it upon ourselves like some weirdos do, we took it out on him. haha, Happy Birthday Lokesh!
Juz got down to my SAT prep again. Finally finished my maths n can do those mini sections tt i'm weak at from now on. but while i was doin all these SAT n stuff, there were ppl so implied tt we should sit for SAT without any prep. yea, i agree. i mean, our usual work is much tougher than the SAT standard, so its straightforward to us, but tt doesnt mean u should juz go withour prior practice. i mean, in order to not juz score, but score high, there r finer techniques necessary. maths is simple to us. but things like verbal, u need to know the skill. n tho maths is simple, if ur tactic is gd, u can score better. there r ways to guess smartly instead of juz wild guessin by elimination n stuff n those small pts r wat makes a difference. ppl keep tellin me to not to waste my time studyin for SAT n instead, study for A's. but lemme juz say this. most of u guys here, A levels r 75% of ur entry criteria, major bulk, but for me, SAT, tho how simple it might seem, is 75%, well, at least, if not more. i mean, i dun think my A level grades seriously affect my entry. at least i'm endin up, most prob at UT Austin or Marquette n UMass Amherst. i know wat i'm doin. juz dont come n tell me how easy SAT is to my face. i know tt. i'm juz lookin to get a better score. realistically, i dun think my A's gonna b tt impressive, so i might as well fine tune my SAT I n II.
Man utd lost surprisingly. so did chelski. so except for Celtic, the other British teams didnt do so well. ah well, who cares. even if newcastle had been through, they would've got walloped by Marseille n Real Madrid. qualification would hav been quite slim too. but we're on comfort way to UEFA Second Round. we gotta beat the Saints this week to get things started b4 worryin bt anythin else. As superstitious as i may b, i think i better re post a big poster of Shearer in my room. somehow or rather, i'm led to believe tt they started performin badly since i had to take it down coz the double sided tapes werent holdin the poster well. i'll put it up tomorrow n if Newcastle wins, well, tt might say somethin. haha, crazy fan i am.
Little pieces of the nothing that fall
Oh may
Put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Oh may
Do you wanna get married or run away
I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide"
Tt's the part tt u were talkin bt rite, Hui? Yep, tt's a very nice section of the song indeed. Wish I could sing it to someone.
Another day of rottin in sch. Usually the first perioud would have been free but we had a so called talk today so tt wasnt to b. 'bust tt stress' was the talk. i was not payin complete attention so i cant say much bt it. but if i needed help i wouldnt get help from talks like these.
we were given 5 envelopes later for the sch to send us notices for various things in the future. tts when i tried to think where i'll b next yr. i'll b in uni, fittin in in the new environment, new friends n all. i couldnt tell exactly where i'll b, but juz wrote 2 for the current address here, which i think my dad, at least would b here. my mom n bro might stay for another yr. i wrote 2 to my aunt's address in Boston. most of our legal mails n registration stuff goes there so they'll forward me wherever i might b.
then came the highlight of a boring day. Lokesh's birthday bash. i muz say, it was one of the sickest acts of all bashes. he tried runnin away but i managed to catch up with him n Utkarsh subsequently took him to the toilet, arms tightly around his neck. haha, the prayer, singing of the birthday song, beatin the hell outta him, strippin him was the usual stuff tt we do to everyone. but wat happened after tt.. man, i can still feel like pukin. utkarsh got a pair of scissors out, we held Lokesh on the ground, i was pinnin one of his shoulders with my knees, Zee held the other n whole load of others holdin his arms n legs. but actually we didnt need to. coz he knew he better not move. y? coz utkarsh was cuttin his pubes off! i'm ok wit tt, cuttin his hair n pubes off. but wat Utkarsh did later... man... he took the bunch of freshly cut pubes n smeared them around Lokesh's face! i was like, no shit..! then Utkarsh took some more off, stuffed em into the nose n forced open the mouth. i so wanted to puke then. then we juz grabbed a hose, drenched him in water n ran off, usual style. haha. but his bashin was bad enough. ppl really kicked n punched the hell outta him... i guess the frustrations of prelims n all other stuff went to him, esp after tt stress bustin talk. instead of takin it upon ourselves like some weirdos do, we took it out on him. haha, Happy Birthday Lokesh!
Juz got down to my SAT prep again. Finally finished my maths n can do those mini sections tt i'm weak at from now on. but while i was doin all these SAT n stuff, there were ppl so implied tt we should sit for SAT without any prep. yea, i agree. i mean, our usual work is much tougher than the SAT standard, so its straightforward to us, but tt doesnt mean u should juz go withour prior practice. i mean, in order to not juz score, but score high, there r finer techniques necessary. maths is simple to us. but things like verbal, u need to know the skill. n tho maths is simple, if ur tactic is gd, u can score better. there r ways to guess smartly instead of juz wild guessin by elimination n stuff n those small pts r wat makes a difference. ppl keep tellin me to not to waste my time studyin for SAT n instead, study for A's. but lemme juz say this. most of u guys here, A levels r 75% of ur entry criteria, major bulk, but for me, SAT, tho how simple it might seem, is 75%, well, at least, if not more. i mean, i dun think my A level grades seriously affect my entry. at least i'm endin up, most prob at UT Austin or Marquette n UMass Amherst. i know wat i'm doin. juz dont come n tell me how easy SAT is to my face. i know tt. i'm juz lookin to get a better score. realistically, i dun think my A's gonna b tt impressive, so i might as well fine tune my SAT I n II.
Man utd lost surprisingly. so did chelski. so except for Celtic, the other British teams didnt do so well. ah well, who cares. even if newcastle had been through, they would've got walloped by Marseille n Real Madrid. qualification would hav been quite slim too. but we're on comfort way to UEFA Second Round. we gotta beat the Saints this week to get things started b4 worryin bt anythin else. As superstitious as i may b, i think i better re post a big poster of Shearer in my room. somehow or rather, i'm led to believe tt they started performin badly since i had to take it down coz the double sided tapes werent holdin the poster well. i'll put it up tomorrow n if Newcastle wins, well, tt might say somethin. haha, crazy fan i am.
hmmm.. in the wake of reports of various companies shuttin down those websites n chatrooms discussin n mentionin specific names of EPL football players possibly involved in the gang raping of an English girl. so i decided it'll b safe for me to remove that section tt comprehensively discussed the issue from my point of view. i mean i wouldnt want this blog to b suspended juz coz i talked abt tt.
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
"Could you whisper in my ears
The things you wanna feel
I'll do anything
To feel it coming
Do you wake up on your own
and wonder where you are?
You live with all your faults."
I dont think I've ever been so bad in my entire school life. Went to school, only attended one lesson, GP. Well, i turned up for Physics lecture, but no lecturer came in the end, so everyone started leaving. Didnt go for maths lecture nor tutorial, n neither did i attend chem lect.
Forgot next wk was lecture timetable only, so today was effectively the last PE session. but i missed it. i wanted to finish up my SAT stuff coz i was goin to Junwen's place tonight. coz of the ppl comin in n out n talkin to me while i did my SAT, couldnt really concentrate n finish it up in the allocated time. but i managed to finish one part n did another when i got home today. Today was 650 n 690. I've got two more papers till i do the last prep on the computer n it seems so far tt i'll get between 650-700 for the actual. as i said last night, SAT scores dont really fluctuate n u get wat u deserve. i juz hope tt my Verbals dont offset the maths n pull down the overall. i've yet to do verbal papers but i'll b happy to get like 650 for tt. my previous was 540 n i dun think it'll jump significantly. so i'll suppose i'll get like 580 or so. so where does tt put me... 1200 to 1300? hmm... USC looks gd wit tt score n mayb UMich is reacheable. i guess i can wave bye bye to Ivies for first 2 yrs. i think goin to public u for 2 yrs n private for the last 2 would b benefittin from both sides.
ah well. i'll settle those stuff after A's. i'm gettin worried btw. its 40 days to A's. if i go on like this, i'm so screwed. i'm ok for phy, mayb can do maths, but definately not chem. i'm runnin out of time n sch n other stuff to do isnt helpin. if i dun mug like the whole day for the next couple of weeks, i'm done for. somehow i dun think i got enough time to do revision. mayb juz barely enough to scrape past. i'm v worried for chem coz memorizin is the only thing tt's botherin me. 40 days isnt enough, considerin maths n chem p2 r on first 3 days. followed by chem p3. by then, my fate for 3 subjects would hav been sealed shut. it'll b pretty much safe for me to start phy after all tt r over, but i dun wanna take my chance.
i'm thinkin. right now, i'm only doin SAT maths. i'll finish by tomorrow n start my verbals. i've got stats mock exam on monday n GP mock exam on tues. tt hampers my plans. coz these exams r after our normal timetable. y cant we juz get it done n over with in the mornin n spare us time in the afternoon! fri is farewell assembly, most prob everyone would wanna go out n hav a memorable day to mark the end of sch life. so tt leaves only bt 2 days next wk. arghhhh..... SAT's on sat, n next wed is chem prac already. then phy prac a wk later. few wks SAT II. i havent got started on tt. then a wk, then A's. i'm so fucked. i see ppl around me gettin like CDE or BCE n stuff for prelims. these r the guys who get ABB or AAC for actual. I got a bloody COO. hows mine gonna improve to a decent standard like tt.
better stop grumblin n worryin and actually get started with work.
so i did wat i planned for today n went over to Junwen's place after dinner. Glen, Jaime, Mike, Chang King n Thomas were there. we juz talked crap n played cards to mark the last day b4 Junwen leaves for NS tomorrow. so there goes another close buddy. well, he'll come back time to time, but it removes tt element from ur daily life. ah well, soon i'm gonna hav to leave quite a lot of ppl. tt's gonna b worse for me. anyways, he's quite lookin forward to enjoyin his time. so i wish him all the best of times. take care of yaself mate.
man, i got another day like today tomorrow. fri would b worse coz i got lessons all the way. i'll decide not to go for few of em. cant take doin nothin or somethin tt's not worthwhile of time anymore. i got too much stuff to do.
Lauryn Hill's 'Ex-Factor' song's tune kept ringin in my head. cant help but wonder y. not like i lost some love interest. particularly this bit tt goes "where were you when I needed you?" i'm actually bouncin inside me these two days so i dunno how tt applies. but its a nice song, no doubt bt tt.
The things you wanna feel
I'll do anything
To feel it coming
Do you wake up on your own
and wonder where you are?
You live with all your faults."
I dont think I've ever been so bad in my entire school life. Went to school, only attended one lesson, GP. Well, i turned up for Physics lecture, but no lecturer came in the end, so everyone started leaving. Didnt go for maths lecture nor tutorial, n neither did i attend chem lect.
Forgot next wk was lecture timetable only, so today was effectively the last PE session. but i missed it. i wanted to finish up my SAT stuff coz i was goin to Junwen's place tonight. coz of the ppl comin in n out n talkin to me while i did my SAT, couldnt really concentrate n finish it up in the allocated time. but i managed to finish one part n did another when i got home today. Today was 650 n 690. I've got two more papers till i do the last prep on the computer n it seems so far tt i'll get between 650-700 for the actual. as i said last night, SAT scores dont really fluctuate n u get wat u deserve. i juz hope tt my Verbals dont offset the maths n pull down the overall. i've yet to do verbal papers but i'll b happy to get like 650 for tt. my previous was 540 n i dun think it'll jump significantly. so i'll suppose i'll get like 580 or so. so where does tt put me... 1200 to 1300? hmm... USC looks gd wit tt score n mayb UMich is reacheable. i guess i can wave bye bye to Ivies for first 2 yrs. i think goin to public u for 2 yrs n private for the last 2 would b benefittin from both sides.
ah well. i'll settle those stuff after A's. i'm gettin worried btw. its 40 days to A's. if i go on like this, i'm so screwed. i'm ok for phy, mayb can do maths, but definately not chem. i'm runnin out of time n sch n other stuff to do isnt helpin. if i dun mug like the whole day for the next couple of weeks, i'm done for. somehow i dun think i got enough time to do revision. mayb juz barely enough to scrape past. i'm v worried for chem coz memorizin is the only thing tt's botherin me. 40 days isnt enough, considerin maths n chem p2 r on first 3 days. followed by chem p3. by then, my fate for 3 subjects would hav been sealed shut. it'll b pretty much safe for me to start phy after all tt r over, but i dun wanna take my chance.
i'm thinkin. right now, i'm only doin SAT maths. i'll finish by tomorrow n start my verbals. i've got stats mock exam on monday n GP mock exam on tues. tt hampers my plans. coz these exams r after our normal timetable. y cant we juz get it done n over with in the mornin n spare us time in the afternoon! fri is farewell assembly, most prob everyone would wanna go out n hav a memorable day to mark the end of sch life. so tt leaves only bt 2 days next wk. arghhhh..... SAT's on sat, n next wed is chem prac already. then phy prac a wk later. few wks SAT II. i havent got started on tt. then a wk, then A's. i'm so fucked. i see ppl around me gettin like CDE or BCE n stuff for prelims. these r the guys who get ABB or AAC for actual. I got a bloody COO. hows mine gonna improve to a decent standard like tt.
better stop grumblin n worryin and actually get started with work.
so i did wat i planned for today n went over to Junwen's place after dinner. Glen, Jaime, Mike, Chang King n Thomas were there. we juz talked crap n played cards to mark the last day b4 Junwen leaves for NS tomorrow. so there goes another close buddy. well, he'll come back time to time, but it removes tt element from ur daily life. ah well, soon i'm gonna hav to leave quite a lot of ppl. tt's gonna b worse for me. anyways, he's quite lookin forward to enjoyin his time. so i wish him all the best of times. take care of yaself mate.
man, i got another day like today tomorrow. fri would b worse coz i got lessons all the way. i'll decide not to go for few of em. cant take doin nothin or somethin tt's not worthwhile of time anymore. i got too much stuff to do.
Lauryn Hill's 'Ex-Factor' song's tune kept ringin in my head. cant help but wonder y. not like i lost some love interest. particularly this bit tt goes "where were you when I needed you?" i'm actually bouncin inside me these two days so i dunno how tt applies. but its a nice song, no doubt bt tt.
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