"Could you whisper in my ears
The things you wanna feel
I'll do anything
To feel it coming
Do you wake up on your own
and wonder where you are?
You live with all your faults."

I dont think I've ever been so bad in my entire school life. Went to school, only attended one lesson, GP. Well, i turned up for Physics lecture, but no lecturer came in the end, so everyone started leaving. Didnt go for maths lecture nor tutorial, n neither did i attend chem lect.

Forgot next wk was lecture timetable only, so today was effectively the last PE session. but i missed it. i wanted to finish up my SAT stuff coz i was goin to Junwen's place tonight. coz of the ppl comin in n out n talkin to me while i did my SAT, couldnt really concentrate n finish it up in the allocated time. but i managed to finish one part n did another when i got home today. Today was 650 n 690. I've got two more papers till i do the last prep on the computer n it seems so far tt i'll get between 650-700 for the actual. as i said last night, SAT scores dont really fluctuate n u get wat u deserve. i juz hope tt my Verbals dont offset the maths n pull down the overall. i've yet to do verbal papers but i'll b happy to get like 650 for tt. my previous was 540 n i dun think it'll jump significantly. so i'll suppose i'll get like 580 or so. so where does tt put me... 1200 to 1300? hmm... USC looks gd wit tt score n mayb UMich is reacheable. i guess i can wave bye bye to Ivies for first 2 yrs. i think goin to public u for 2 yrs n private for the last 2 would b benefittin from both sides.

ah well. i'll settle those stuff after A's. i'm gettin worried btw. its 40 days to A's. if i go on like this, i'm so screwed. i'm ok for phy, mayb can do maths, but definately not chem. i'm runnin out of time n sch n other stuff to do isnt helpin. if i dun mug like the whole day for the next couple of weeks, i'm done for. somehow i dun think i got enough time to do revision. mayb juz barely enough to scrape past. i'm v worried for chem coz memorizin is the only thing tt's botherin me. 40 days isnt enough, considerin maths n chem p2 r on first 3 days. followed by chem p3. by then, my fate for 3 subjects would hav been sealed shut. it'll b pretty much safe for me to start phy after all tt r over, but i dun wanna take my chance.

i'm thinkin. right now, i'm only doin SAT maths. i'll finish by tomorrow n start my verbals. i've got stats mock exam on monday n GP mock exam on tues. tt hampers my plans. coz these exams r after our normal timetable. y cant we juz get it done n over with in the mornin n spare us time in the afternoon! fri is farewell assembly, most prob everyone would wanna go out n hav a memorable day to mark the end of sch life. so tt leaves only bt 2 days next wk. arghhhh..... SAT's on sat, n next wed is chem prac already. then phy prac a wk later. few wks SAT II. i havent got started on tt. then a wk, then A's. i'm so fucked. i see ppl around me gettin like CDE or BCE n stuff for prelims. these r the guys who get ABB or AAC for actual. I got a bloody COO. hows mine gonna improve to a decent standard like tt.

better stop grumblin n worryin and actually get started with work.

so i did wat i planned for today n went over to Junwen's place after dinner. Glen, Jaime, Mike, Chang King n Thomas were there. we juz talked crap n played cards to mark the last day b4 Junwen leaves for NS tomorrow. so there goes another close buddy. well, he'll come back time to time, but it removes tt element from ur daily life. ah well, soon i'm gonna hav to leave quite a lot of ppl. tt's gonna b worse for me. anyways, he's quite lookin forward to enjoyin his time. so i wish him all the best of times. take care of yaself mate.

man, i got another day like today tomorrow. fri would b worse coz i got lessons all the way. i'll decide not to go for few of em. cant take doin nothin or somethin tt's not worthwhile of time anymore. i got too much stuff to do.

Lauryn Hill's 'Ex-Factor' song's tune kept ringin in my head. cant help but wonder y. not like i lost some love interest. particularly this bit tt goes "where were you when I needed you?" i'm actually bouncin inside me these two days so i dunno how tt applies. but its a nice song, no doubt bt tt.