Ahh... I suddenly feel like 'Here Is Gone'... that warm, free and serene feeling... just love it.

'Here Is Gone' by Goo Goo Dolls
You and I got something
But it's all and then it's nothing to me
And I got my defenses
When it comes to your intentions for me
And we wake up in the breakdown
Of the things we never thought we could be

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

Chorus:
And I want to get free talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

I have no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

Chorus

And I don't need the fallout of all the past
That's here between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here

Chorus

And I want to get free talk to me
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone

Yea, especially that part right above... just keeps ringin in my head...

hmmm, the most interestin essay question ive come across so far. most universities are like, 'what do you think you will bring into the campus life?' or 'why did you choose to study the course of your choice?' and 'tell us about your background that distinguishes you from the rest' and stuff. standard, boring, etc. but now now, University of Pennsylvania has this particular question that shone out of the accompanying two (see, i'm supposed to choose one topic out of the three)
"You have just completed a 300 page autobiography. Submit page 217."
Ahhh... yea, you're looking at an essay topic that is required of an Ivy League University. Hmm, I guess that says a lot about the expectations of an Ivy already, non? Okay, somehow, I have to, I must finish the three essays by this weekend. Before my aunt's family come over. Then i can chill for little more. I've been too relaxed n lenient wit myself lately. Then, hit the essays again wit four more. Then im more or less done for the January deadlines.

Alicia Key's new single "You Don't Know My Name" is so damn nice!

Urghhh!!!

I've already spent (ok, not me, but my dad) US$215 for application fees and I'm like only done with 6 of em. 11 more to go!!! one of it (CM) is more or less complete, just editing, that is more or less tied up. jeez, all these for having the freedom of choice in April.

Read the paper this morning bt US Education? Most of my schools tt im applyin to are listed, that proves I made the right choices, but at the same time, im worried, coz other Singaporeans r tryin to get into the very unis tt i want to get into, which might make my prelim transcripts appear like shit. oh wait, im not international candidate. so i guess tt doesnt matter? but the transcripts still will. sigh.

been doin lotsa stuff lately.

oh, i finally have CM 03-04!!!! woohoo. gonna play my arse off. started new game already, wit all the english leagues, plus the top divisions of spain, italy, germany and france. i think i should hav added holland n scotland. hmmm, i'll see how this game goes first. I took charge of Hereford. the squad only has like 20 players (i mean the whole club) but i think i like to work wit it tt way. gotta sort out the finances first, before i took over, it was already 200 quid over the wage budget. i might hav to kick someone out in order to maintain the budget. damn it, this team doesnt even hav an assistant manager. but then, there r no playable players in the reserves n the under-19s, so i dont hav to worry too much. lets see whether i will emulate my magnificent form wit Farnborough which saw me jump in managerial ladders to 1st div wit man city in juz 2 yrs. nah, this is tougher, it wont happen so easily. but i wanna play like in all divisions step by step. most likely, once im up there in the top league, i wont come back to manage in lower league. lets go Bulls!! (hereford's nickname)

yea, then Marc left... ive been through all the way wit tt guy man. first friend i made in SA, since we were in the same OG, i became the OG rep, him, the assistant. he never changed, still the same as day 1. haha. yea, then we both stayed on, joined the council, kept bein friends coz we both hanged around wit the same ppl, till the end. i think i might still b wit him, since there is quite a big possibility tt he might go to US. if he goes to CA n if i do too, yea baby!! but he's been one heck of a guy. v comical, funny, creative, artistic, dumb, joker, aiii, the list can go on! til the last moment, he remained the person we all knew. haha, him rushin to the gates when his flight was on last call. its juz him, i wasnt too surprised. haha. all the best dude!

supposedly things were happenin then tt i found out later. not too pleasant. but i got myself to blame, i suppose i did certain things unknowningly. wait, no, knowingly, but i wasnt aware of the consequences. but things r settling out, i juz gotta admit it n apologise. things like this happen, i shouldnt get too hot headed n react, it'll only cause more damage. so im doin the best i can by backin off n juz stop the whole mess. i was rather pissed coz ive never really been the trouble maker n all, since certain incidents early this yr. but then inadvertedly things happened. ah well, juz gotta handle it properly.

hmmm, i was listenin to a lot of techno-score-orchestra kinda stuff wit the juno reactor music, well, as i would hav guessed, my choice of music is turnin around yet another corner again. now im lookin for real jazz rap songs. dunno wat im talkin bt? try these songs; Warren G "I Want It All", A Tribe Called Quest "We've Got (The Jazz)", The Roots "The Hypnotic" "The Next Movement" "You Got Me" and Will Smith "Just Cruisin". Yea, after those songs, you should get wat i mean. Real hiphop/rap but not wit those mainstream background music. juz soft rap tt u can listen at night n stuff. rare kind, but there r number of em. The Roots and A Tribe Called Quest r the best example, but im lookin for more.

Oh while walkin around the other day, after buyin CM 03-04, I bumped into this gorgeous person. North Indian, I'm very sure. That kind that doesnt exactly look North Indian, but more East European? We exchanged some glances, but bein the person (prick) that I am, I just walked off after that. Heh. Blown chance? Yea right, like I'll ever stand a shot. But its juz me, I've never been good at pickin girls up for short talk n all, n I dont think I'll ever be. Oh just lemme put it straight right here right now, contrary to the popular belief that others actually think im hot wit the ladies, well, im not. i mean, i never got to sweet talk, never got someone's number right off the street, never enchanted someone, u get the drift. some said im such a waste of good looks. heh, im sorry la. i juz was never like tt ok? i mean it says enough by the fact tt ive never been attached n all, so yea, point stated. i'll definately come across many wonderful ladies in the next few yrs, esp tt im goin to US uni later on, but dont bet on me pickin up some girls anytime soon. its not like i want to or anythin, juz quite sad tt i bump into some hot person n nothin happens, like wat i hear from friends, see in movies, read in bks, etc. ah well.

Chantille won! I was rather shocked Lisa got booted off first. I always thought it'll be a two-horse race between Lisa n Chantille. But yea, Chantille has charisma n the cute porceline look. v modelish. n for David, well, i guess tt justified y rachel hunter gave him a perfect score. im not bein racist but it would hav been quite interestin if Crystal had won to make both the hottest person Blacks. They talk about risin as a people often, well that would hav stated some point.

Watched Love Actually today. It was a v funny show! Makes u feel real soft n mellow. Keira Knightley looks so adorable yet again!!! I mean if I were the guy, I think I'll be filmin only her too. noticed she has this way of aligning her lips or jaws in this certain manner tt makes her face be able to express different gestures. i found tt v interestin. but overall, this movie is excellent. four and a half stars! they managed to piece together many different stories n somehow make a connection n gotta credit them for managin to do tt. n its was one of the very few movies tt actually made me feel v christmassy. u dont really get that in sg, but the scenes in the movie really made me feel it. snow, gifts, decors, etc. v nice.

ok, i think i said quite a lot of stuff now. gonna go sleep. my eyes r tired too.

Ahhh... Finally managed to catch Nelly Furtado's performance in Tonight's Show With Jay Leno last night. Jay Leno's hilarious, but when I heard him say Nelly was gonna come on, I was saying 'Yes!!!'

I totally love Nelly Furtado. Yea, there are so many critics of her, but isnt that like the same with any artists? Being a fan of hers, I do admit, her style of singing is rather off main-stream; she isnt a gd singer. but hey, thats if u view her from the mainstream. but she isnt mainstream, so dont judge her like that. her songs are one of a kind, Portuguese, Hiphop and folk influence. But have u read her lyrics? They are poetry. As a songwriter, i think she's one of the best, if not, the best, around. She mixes personal experiences and thoughts, blends them with her unique heritage and comes up with a masterpiece. Its almost magic. And thats what I love her primarily for. She has a new album, after giving birth to a girl, and the new single's lyrics are, not surprisingly, good.

Powerless (Say What You Want)

Paint my face in your magazines
Make it look whiter than it seems
Paint me over with your dreams
Shove away my ethnicity
Burn every notion that I may have a flame inside to fight
And say just what is on my mind
Without offending your might

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
So say what you want
Say what you want

I saw her face outside today
Weatherworn, looking all the rage
They took her passion and her gaze and made a poster
Now it's moccasins we sport
We take the culture and contort
Perhaps only to distort what we are hiding

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
But say what you want
Say what you want

Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in, get in
Hey you, the one that don't fit in, how ya, how ya gonna get in
Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in with your
Broken teeth, broken jaw, broken mojo
Yeah, this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

Final Score from St. James' Park;
Newcastle United 1
Alan Shearer (63rd, pen)

Liverpool 1
Danny Murphy (6th)

man... terrible terrible. NUFC were horrible in first half. second half, liverpool was lucky not to lose, but NUFC's attack was so weak! cant even shoot properly! arrghh... but second half was so intense. v entertaining second half.

but Newcastle's offence suck... o wait, i forgot the defence too.

k someone help me out.

im learnin the loop for C++ n im v confused. so someone help me understand this segment.

#include
int main ( ) {
int x, y, z;
for ( x = 1; x <=3; x++ ) {
for ( y = 1; y < 3; y++ ) {
if ( y == 2 )
break;
for (z = 1; z < 3; z++) {
cout << x << " " << y;
cout << " " << z << endl;
}
}
}
return 0;
}

k, in blogger, its not comin out like it should be. damn it. it wont display properly.

im practically blastin the fuck outta my head wit juno reactor.

yea, u know, the part-gregorian, part-orchestra like, part score, part very techno n electronica music we always hear in any of the matrix movies?

yea. i detest techno. but juno reactor blends score n electronica well. its almost as if when im listen to them, you're reaching this higher level of peacefulness.

try these couple of songs; Mona Lisa Overdrive (yea, the ever-famous background music in Reloaded's much talked about highway scene), Navras (the ending credit song in Revolutions), Neodammerung (the final battle music) and many more in the soundtrack.

wat do u call the ppl singin like the greek or roman catholic chants? gospel choir? they sound real gd. tts my favourite part of these songs.

uh, im juz damn tired. so much more work to do. when is this gonna end...

Yea... so Prom was over yesterday.

somehow, it didnt turn out as gd as i expected. was rather dull, all we did was to look gd, eat little n take tons of photo.

a lot of ppl were bemused at the selection of prom king n queens but i guess the winners are suitable choices. so thumbs up to our prom king, Jacob and prom queen Wendy! Very appropriate winners if u ask me, although dozen of people we know should at least have been nominated. but yea, thats the way it goes.

yea, u all know me, im not clubbin person, and y the fuck would i wanna waste money when im neither gonna drink nor dance rite? hoped to juz chill out at a pub or pool place, but everywhere we went, it didnt seem to work out (devils bar minimum age 23 for guys? WTH? pool place next to hard rock charges like 14/hr CRAZY, supposedly 24 hr theatre is not 24 hr but only on fri n sat, how stupid is tt?) yea, so we were like walkin around orchard at 1 to 2 in the morning, tryin to find some place where we can juz chill out, turns out we couldnt.

but i saw a lot of scene tt i never saw b4 (yea, i mean coz i CANT go out in the middle of the night coz of my dad) but two scenes i didnt expect to see. a malay couple arguin damn louldy near hard rock, seems over some third party, i swear i tot the guys were gonna come in blows, and the transexuals near thai embassy beatin the hell out of some guy who passed a comment to them n all. it was hilarious, but eye opening. didnt know singapore had these stuff goin on, i tot it was only obvious in NYC.

but yea, ultimately, went back to hotel room, juz as our initial plan was. everythin was alrite until the clubbin ppl came back, coz then we had to really worry bt not gettin kicked out of our room coz of excessive noise n all. zhengwei's roommates were asked to leave, n so did our dear councillors later in the morning. i was scared shit when only few seconds after we entered our room, the manager came to juz warn us. but we were lucky.

but seriously, if u go clubbin, control urself. its juz plain stupid to be wastin not only ur time but of those around u. y, y u wanna do all tt shit for. its so fuckin troublesome. i mean, juz think, dont get urself into too much shit, wat for?

yea, so after playin one gigantic monopoly session which was the biggest exchanges of powers ive ever seen. fatigue gave way n i ultimately lost to Koustav. ah well.

yea, so i only slept like for 2 hrs, so im real tired. n the room was so messy. sigh.

n i juz finished fillin up USC, Georgia Tech and finished up UIUC application.

argh. im so fuckin tired n stressed. i need to chill. goo goo dolls, massive attack n juno reactor where are you....

blah...

havent been updatin lately.

sorry, i've been either doing; C++ programming, filling up university applications (Purdue, PSU and UIUC are done! just essays to be added), goin to sentosa, puttin together a whack 1000 piece puzzle, goin over to friends place till late at night, etc

so much tt im too tired to log in n blog at 1 or 2 in the morning.

n i gotta go now again...

enjoyin the hols fellas? coz i am.